DarkTails
by Will Counter
Summary: WARNING: Beware of what I think is a big pile of suck. Some people like it, though, so it stays.
1. Chapter 1

**DarkTails**

**by**

**William Penn**

**"Tails! Hurry up, I can't wait all day!" Shouted Sonic, squinting just to barely catch a small glimpse of Miles, or "Tails", as he was called. "Sorry, You know I can't fly that fast!" Tails yelled back. "Especially not when I have to carry Cheese around for Cream!" He held up the Small, bow-tie sporting Chao. "Yeah, Yeah, just hurry up! Amy's E-mail told me that if we just take a right and keep going, we'll reach the springs!" Tails wasn't really sure why Sonic wanted to go swimming, he sank like a cinder block...**

**They reached theie destination at around noonish, and Sonic set down the sack he'd found on the way there. He wondered what could be in it... "Hey Tails! Do you think I should open this?" Sonic looked around, but could find no one. "Eh, maybe he's in the loo. I guess Cream is still on her way here... Well, I guess I'll have a peek..." Sonic opened the sack, and...**

**On Angel Island, Knuckles could hear his screams...**

**"Sonic, whats wro--" Is all Tails could say before he vomited. In the sack... Was Amy. Not the usual happy-go-lucky Amy, but the new, dead, double-puncture-to-the-corrodded-artery Amy. Sonic was passed out on the ground, and Tails was vomiting, when--lucky thing that she is-- Cream comes up and sees the gratuitous gore. She immediately passes out as well, and Tails passes out from vomiting.**

**Everyone attended the funeral. And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Even the villains. Except Shadow. He wasn't there. He's quote/unquote "Too cool for funerals". But, he would have wanted to be there for what happened next. As Tails walked up to the podium in front of the casket for the long, boring, mushy, final goodbye eulogy speech that we all know he was going to give, because, come on, its TAILS, he felt kind of... weird. Like, something was wrong. But, he quickly dismissed it as a gas bubble, like he always does. Halfway through the eulogy, Metal Sonic yelled something. Then he yelled it in English. "THE GIRL LIVES!" Indeed, the closed casket was being punched from the inside, and after each punch it was very clear that Amy was saying the word "Ow." Sonic stood up, looked at the coffin, walked up to it, kicked it, and waited. "Stop it, please." Amy said from inside the coffin. "Why did you morons put me in a box?" "You were Dead. At least, thats what we thought." Replied Tails, opening the casket. Amy sat up, looked at Tails, and said, sweetly as ever: "You were right." She lunged at him, but missed and hit her head. Then, she lunged at Sonic, but, being the hyper little blue thingy he is, Sonic dodged her with a yell of "COFFEE!". Then, before Tails could react, she lunged at him again, and bit him on the arm. Hard. Tails could feel blood oozing down his arm, And he could hear Amy making disturbing, nasty gloopy noises. He tried to wiggle free, but it was no use. Amy had penetrated the bone. Tails knew he wouldn't be able to live much longer at his current rate of blood loss. Then he passed out.**

**Tails woke up in his bed the next morning. He immediately jumped out of bed, ran downstairs, and found Sonic in their kitchen eating waffles. "Hey Tails! I gots waffles!" He called, tossing a syrup drench peice of waffle into his mouth. Tails was relieved that it had all been a dream. But... There was something... different about Sonic's sugar-n-coffee induced spasms today, although Tails couldn't quite put his finger on it... Then he noticed something else. "Hey, didn't there used to be a mirror on that wall?" Tails said, pointing to a blank space on the kitchen wall. Suddenly Sonic became very stiff, held up a sheet of paper, and started reading "No, Tails. There has neever been a meeror on that wall." Then Sonic put the Paper down and continued to scarf the waffles. "Can I have a waffle?" Inquired Tails, to which Sonic picked up the paper again, and read "No Tails. You may not have any of Sonic's Yummy waffles and/or brain shaped candies."**

**"Gimme that paper."**

**"No!"**

**"Gimme!"**

**"No! Its mah papers!"**

**After about an hour of the above, Tails got the paper and started to read it when the doorbell rang, and Sonic grabbed it back. "Go get the door. I gots waffles that need some eatin'!" And so, Tails reluctantly answered the door. It was Knuckles. He was wearing a Lei necklace that smelled really bad. "Is Sonic here?" He asked Tails. "Yes. But he's with his waffles." "Waffles again?" They both said and laughed at the running joke they had started last summer. Knuckles went into the kitchen. Tails, curious at why Knuckles hadn't called first, decided that he would stay and see what the echidna wanted. That is, until Sonic became very serious looking and read from his lovely little paper, "Tails. The big people are talking. Please go upstairs." And so, Tails, feeling increasingly annoyed with the leaflet Sonic fell in love with, went upstairs to his room and played his Game Buddy Pocket Advance Tiny Color until Sonic said, in a fashion that made it obvious he was reading the paper again, "Okey, Tails. The Big people are dune talking know." Tails cursed about Sonics terrible reading skills, then tried to remember where he put his SUPADANCE III game cartridge. Then he remembered--he left it in Sonic's room! So, he went downstairs and opened the door to Sonic's room. Then, as he entered the solid blue room, he started to itch. Not a lot. Then it intensified. Soon, Tails felt like he was on fire from the inside out. Then, he tripped and grabbed the curtains on the window. Pulling them shut as he fell. Within seconds, the burning dissapeared. Tails, suddenly suspicious of something... He opened the window again, and as soon as the bright sunlight hit him, he felt the itching return. Then, as he re-closed the curtains, realizing the most likely possibility, he decided to see something else. He was going to look at his reflection in a mirror. He searched the entire house. Nothing. Not one mirror. So, then, he decided to look and see if he still had his camera. He ran up to his room, and found Sonic about to smash his camera with a hammer. But it didn't matter. Tails' suspicions were confirmed. It hadn't been a dream after all. And they tried to hide it from him. Tails suddenly felt weird. Bad weird. Angry, and at the same time, a sense of... something new. Something he never felt before. Power. Yes, that was the word he was looking for. Power...**

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**"You forgot to close your curtains." Said Tails dismally to Sonic. Sonic just kind of froze there for a moment. Then, he walked past Tails, saying, "I'm gonna need the big paper." It was really more of a packet that Sonic came back with. Sonic started to recite the papers, then he came to a big word and decided to just let Tails read it. It said...**

**To the parties to whom it may concern,**

**You have been initiated into the Brotherly Association for Special Students. As I am sure you may be aware, you are undead. We will not discriminate on that basis. Here, we will accept you for who you are, and/or what you are. Free Punch and Pie.**

**-From, Gohedgeh Eht Wodahs**

**Tails flipped through the rest of the (blank) pages. Then he took a closer look at who signed it. "Oh, come on. Thats just stupid. Yeah, Shadow! Spell your name in reverse order, that'll work!" Tails said, sarcastically. "Whoa, Shadow runs that place?" Cried Sonic in disbelief. "Oh. Wait. Bad thing. Amy got one of those letters after we bound and gagged her, and she hopped off to the place."**

**"Meh. Let her go."**

**"Tails, thats mean!"**

**Tails walked up to Sonic angrily, pointed to his arm, where there was still a small scar, and yelled "Do you see THIS! THIS is 'mean'!" He then stormed off outside, then ran back in a few seconds later screaming. He had forgotten it was daylight. Sonic walked out of the room, then came back with a lock. He placed the lock on the front door. "This house is officially on lockdown." He said, whileputting on a hazmat suit. "Um... Why?" Asked Tails. "I don't really know. They just said to lock the house down if you found out anything about the whole thing." Sonic replied. Through the course of the next hour, Tails tried in vain to get Sonic to tell him more. And so, feeling thoroughlydefeated, Tails went to his room and played the Game Buddy (blah blah blah) for about an hour, then he was tired so he had a good sleep.**

**-----------------**

**He awoke the next night at around midnightish, and was bored, so he decided to watch the TV some. He was channel-surfing, and came across the Farming Channel, where they were showing a farm near his house. It was a little boring, but then he noticed it--the cows. The cows... they seemed... he looked for a word to use to describe them, but couldn't seem to find one... Then it hit him. Like a boulder. He "needed" the cows. So, he got up, and, without a sound, stole the keys to the lock, and left for the farm and its bountiful cows.**

**-----------------**

**Cream was so excited! she was going to be on TV! All that time farming cows, and only cows, were about to pay off! She looked in a mirror and adjusted her handmade farm hat. "So Cheese, how do I look?" She asked the wee cyan Chao, who nodded his head in approval. "Come on, lets go check up on the cows before I have to show them the stables. I can't believe it. The Farming Channel!" And, with that, she was gone. Then she came back inside and grabbed a rifle that seemed too large for her small stature. "Forgot the boomstick."**

**-----------------**

**The Next morning, Sonic woke up and did a quick check of the house. Then he checked Tails' room, and did not find Tails, so, instead of looking over the house again, he yelled "TAILS! ARE YOU IN YOUR ROOM!" As soon as he was done yelling, Tails fell out of the closet. "What?" He asked sleepily. **

**"Nothing. Just wondering where you were."**

**"I've been right here all day."**

**Sonic eyed him suspiciously, then asked, "Then, why is there a hole in your arm?" Tails had forgotten about what happened last night. He had been... feeding on the cows when he heard a scream, and then he was shot in the arm. Naturally, he ran. "Um... I don't know...?" Tails replied, knowing that Sonic, being the moron that he is, wouldn't question his reply. And he didn't, although he was chastised and told to be more careful. After Sonic left, Tails decided to just go back to bed, or rather, closet, until night came.**

**-----------------**

**Tails awoke a few hours later, and smelled something. It was familiar, but it had sort of a coffee-like smell to it now. It seemed to get stronger as Tails went downstairs to investigate the source of the aroma. Tails walked down the hall, trying to find the source of the smell. It was in any of Sonic's six snack rooms. So, Tails continued down the long hall, until he came to the kitchen. The smell was coming from the kitchen. Tails, feeling reassured that the aroma was probably just burnt waffles, went inside to see why Sonic was eating waffles in the late afternoon. Tails opened the door, and stopped. Sonic was lying on the ground, in a fetal position, and in front of him lay a dead cow. It had a stake imbedded in it's side. Tails quickly realised that Sonic had been attacked by one of the cows he had bitten the previous night. Tails ran over to Sonic, and took a good look at him. Sonic seemed fine on his left side, but he was missing something on his right side that he may have wanted-- his arm, which explained to Tails that he had been smelling Sonic. Or rather, Sonic's blood. He didn't have any bite marks, which was good. But, he was bleeding very badly, which wasn't very good for wither of them. Tails, using every bit of willpower he had, picked Sonic up in his arms, carried him outside, and took him safely to the nearest hospital.**

**-----------------**

**Knuckles sat across the room from Miles, looking very angry. Angry isn't a good word to describe the way Knuckles felt. Sonic, hyperactive airhead that he was, deserved a lot of things, but this certainly wasn't on the list. Knuckles had already asked Miles the questions that this grim situation warranted. "Who? What? When? Where? Why?" Mostly the last one. Knuckles didn't believe a word of the garbage Miles was spouting for a second. He was supposed to believe that a cow ripped off Sonic's right arm? The story, as a whole, was plausible enough, except that Cream didn't recall any of her cows as being wounded on that night. Eventually, Knuckles was fed up with Miles' excuses, and called Cream in. "Cream, would you please tell Miles here about the cows on your farm?" And so Cream began to tell Miles about all of her cows, and said, "But one of Cheese's cows was acting funny this morning, like it had gas. So, I let it out, and it ran off towards around where Sonic lives." ****Knuckles was stunned. Miles just sat there. This whole thing just made him feel worse and worse. This wasn't like him. Normally, he would consider all the possible consequences of his actions. Knuckles thanked Cream for her time, and sent her off on her way. Then he turned his attention back to Miles. "Don't think this gets you off the hook."**

**"Of course not."**

**----------------**

**To be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**The second part of this chapter is from Knuckles' Point of view.**

**-----------------**

**While Knuckles wished he could take a more extreme course of action... **

**...(Knuckles' thoughts consisting of: Kill him. Kill him. Kill him...)...**

**He knew that if he obeyed his thoughts, Sonic would want to kill HIM, simply because he has trust in Miles. A little too much trust. So, Knuckles simply sent Prower home with nothing but the most severe language he could think of.**

**-----------------**

**(Knuckles' POV)**

**I had more or less gotten over the whole thing, since they could just give Sonic a new, better, 6-Million-Dollar-Man style arm. So, feeling that all was relatively peaceful, I went back to Angel Island, and continued my duty of gem guarding. I was starting to feel better when--wouldn't you know it--that filthy little beast showed up again. He seemed... different, somehow. He was really just standing there, looking at me, swishing those two tails of his back and forth. Like a dog. I blinked--that was all--and when I opened my eyes, he was standing right in front of me. He said "Hello, Knuckles, nice night, eh?" in that shrill little voice of his. I did the first thing that came to mind. I punched him as hard as I could in the face. He didn't even budge. "My, what a rude welcome. Not even a kind word." Those words still haunt my dreams. At this point, I did what any sane individual would do. I ran. As fast as I could. I didn't stop. I blinked again, and he was right in front of me again. He grabbed my arm tightly. I hit him again, and, again, nothing. He smiled, an evil, wretched little grin. I asked him, "Why?" A question that I had asked him many times before. His answer? "Because its fun." Fun? FUN! I was shocked. I asked him what he planned to do with me. I at least wanted to know how I would die. But, he didn't kill me. He turned me around, and used his hand to puncture my skin. I felt him rub his fingers on the open wound. He walked, slowly, in front of me, still holding my arm, strolled directly in front of my face, and made me watch as he slowly licked his putrid fingers clean. Then he let go of me, and said, "You should get out more. Its good for you." He started to walk off, then he turned, looked at me, smiled as though nothing had happened, and said, "And it makes the blood much less bitter." Then he turned and left. It was only after I was sure nobody was watching me... I cried. I had never cried before, not even as a baby. But this... was too much. I was scared. No, I've been scared before, and this was worse. Far worse. In just three days, Miles "Tails" Prower had gone from being the nicest person I've known to being the source of my night terrors.**

**-----------------**

**Shadow laughed behind his office desk as he watched on his viewscreen what he had convinced Amy to do. He couldn't believe that Knuckles, the most observant entity on the planet, couldn't tell the difference between a few (rather poorly done) cosmetic alterations, and the real Tails. 'He must have been tired.' Thought Shadow, still chuckling at the sheer unlikeliness of it all. Then he turned his mind back to more important matters. By which I mean, taking a Tails action figure, and a Knuckles action figure out of his desk and reenacting the scene with high pitched voices and wacky sound effects.**

**-----------------**

**Tails was on his way back to the house, when he got that weird, nagging, impending-doom feeling. He just ignored it and kept walking. As soon as he reached the doorstep, he was grabbed from behind, and pulled into a nearby bush. The attacker's hand was covering Tails' mouth, and the other had a knife in it. Tails tried to get out of the offender's grasp, but to no avail. Having no real other choice--Tails bit the offenders' hand. The mystery assailant squealed in pain, dropping the knife. Tails ran inside the house and locked the door. Then, he just sort of stood there for a while, thinking of what to do. He finally decided to look outside to see if the attacker was still there. He peered out the door. The knife landed in the wall about six centimeters away from his face. Tails calmly took the knife, closed the door, locked it, walked into the bathroom, flushed the knife down the toilet, went up to his room, walked inside his closet, and screamed as loudly as he could. Then, he went to sleep. It was late. Well, late for him. It was early for anyone else.**

**-----------------**

**To be continued.**

**Sorry that its shorter than normal.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sonic had just been released from the hospital, and Tails was nervous about a number of things. He had a number of questions, and even more doubts. **

**'Does he know its all my fault?'**

**'Will he hate me now?'**

**'What if he tries to kill me?'**

**'Will he make me pay rent now?'**

**Tails was sure that all of these questions' answers would not be good. He decided to do some cleaning to put his concentration on something else. When he finally got the last speck of dirt from the kitchen floor, he heard the door open. He had prepared for anything, and had some packed suitcases upstairs. Sonic walked into the kitchen, past Tails, and immediately put some coffee on. Then he gave Tails a sort of dirty look, then a certain gesture, then Sonic left the room. Tails was starting to sweat, because he remembered Sonic once telling him, "Don't trust the silent people. They're the ones that get you." He had been on a sugar high when he said it, but Sonic's sudden lack of words still creeped Tails out a little. Tails decided to just wait in his room and see what happened. Eventually, Sonic knocked on the door to Tails' room, and asked, "Tails, can I speak to you for a moment?" Tails opened the door, and replied, rather nervously, "Yes?" Sonic was looking down at his feet. "I'm sorry that I ignored you today. I just needed some time to cool off a little." Tails was relieved, and dismissed a lot of the negative thoughts he had garnered. "You d on't need to apologize. It was all my fault..." Tails admitted. Sonic looked up, slightly confused, "How is it your fault?" And the thoughts were back, along with a new one: "Why did he flip me off?". Tails stood there awkwardly, and finally, lacking a better story, told Sonic the truth. Sonic just stood there for a while, and after about three minutes, Tails decided that maybe Sonic needed more alone time, so he closed the door again. The next time Sonic came, he opened the door, and came running in towards Tails. Before Tails got a chance to react, Sonic was holding him by the throat, shaking him violently. "WHY!" He yelled over his new right arm's whirring. He threw Tails on the ground, and body-slammed him. "WHY TAILS!" Both of them were crying. Sonic eventually got tired and fell over from exhaustion. Tails decided that it was a good opprotunity to answer Sonic's repeated question. "I... was hungry..." Tails stated. "I thought that... the cows would help. They didn't..." He trailed off. "Heh. I don't blame you... I've done lots of stupid crap for food. Heh, If I was desperate enough, I'd sell my soul for some coffee and a Charleston Chew." Sonic laughed. "Besides, I think I like this new arm."**

**"Okay, now you're just trying to calm yourself down and make me feel better..."**

**"Yeah, so?"**

**"Good point."**

**-----------------------**

**Knuckles was sitting on a rock, thinking of his visit from "Tails". He was thinking hard, trying to remember exactly what happened. Then, he managed to remember it more clearly, and said, feeling like a dolt, "Wait. Tails isn't pink." Knuckles smiled, realising who really attacked him, and said, "She's right. I should get out more." He put on the awful smelling lei knecklace, and, after putting a sign next to the Master Emerald that said: "WARNING: MASTER KEY TO ALL CHAOS POWER. DO NOT TOUCH.", left to go have a quick stroll and appreciate nature. Oh, I'm sure everything will be just dandy there without him.**

**-----------------------**

**Shadow was sitting under his office desk, out of sight, holding an action figure of himself, and one of Amy. There was a napkin on the Amy figure's head, and a red-painted bow-tie pasta tied around the Shadow figure's neck. He was obviously having a disturbed marriage fantasy. And he had an entire cake that he would dip their heads in. And then he noticed me watching him do this, and I was chased out of Brotherly. Because "What Shadow do be his own bidness".**

**-----------------------**

**Cream was tending Cheese, thinking about why Knuckles had called her to tell Tails about her cows. Really, She was thinking more about Tails. Why would he want to know that? And why did she suddenly get this stomach feeling when she was near him? She had heard some things from Metal Sonic about the funeral, but hadn't been allowed to attend herself. She was too young. She hadn't had that uncomfortable gut feeling, since she saw "The Thingymabobbiwhatzit" in the barn. Come to think of it, that feeling is what told her to shoot it. She was surprised that the creature didn't die... Then she turned her thoughts back to Tails, and realised that he looked different, too. his eyes were still the same color, and lively enough, but... he didn't look like he had a soul. He didn't smile the entire time, not even when she said Cheese's cow looked like it had bad gas... She wondered why... She felt like talking to him, because she thought she might get some answers if she went to the source of her questions. **

**-----------------------**

**Sonic had left to go to Winn-Dixie to buy, as he repeated to himself, "Loaf of bread, quart of milk, stick of butter... Loaf of bread, quart of milk, stick of butter..." When he got there, he was surprised to see Knuckles poking the turkey slices with a stick. "What are you doing?" Sonic asked, watching Knuckles poke the turkey. "Pokin' turkey. OOH! I think I saw it move!" Knuckles replied, focusing even more on the slices of poultry. Sonic just dismissed Red as having finally surrenderred to coffee. Or hemp. Either one. So, Sonic tried to remember what he was doing... **

**"Quart of bread, stick of milk, loaf of butter..."**

**I wish him luck in his search.**

**---------------------**

**To be continued...**

**When I wrote this, I had a little too much COFFEE myself. I tried to make it funny to people that don't have the same sick sense of humor I do. /**

**No real plot advancement except Cream, and, MAYBE Sonic and Tails...**


	5. Chapter 5

**8:00 A.M.**

**-------------------**

**Cream was writing down her questions in a notebook as she walked to Sonic and Tails' house. She knew the way there by memory, so she didn't pay all that much attention to where she was walking. She was on page twenty now. She started on page one. As she walked, she stared up at the sky, seeing if that was all of her questions. Then, she heard something. She turned. nothing. So, she just kept walking, going a little faster. Then, she slowed a bit. And she heard it again. It sounded like... Music. She had heard it before... Classical, but with a hint of macabre to it. She ran. Fast. The music grew louder. She ran faster. Louder. Faster. Louder. Faster. Singing. Louder. Cream was running so fast she couldn't breathe. She couldn't quite make out what they were singing... it was in Latin... She could make out the pronunctiation... **

**"Elstos seekere heyobel ananagee" **

**Then a name... She couldn't quite make it out... Se... Seph... Sephi...**

**"SEPHIROTH!"**

** Then she remembered. The song. The name. It was from some dumb game Tails had mentioned once... "Kingdom Spades" or something like that... It played during the boss fight in a coliseum against a guy with long gray girly hair and a big sword and a black wing. The music seemed to fade. Cream turned. A human was standing in the road. No, not just any human. It was the man from the game, wing and everything. The music started again, louder than ever. Cream turned and tried to run, but she tripped over a tree root. The music seemed to intensify. She turned. The man was walking towards her. The voices were now singing something else.**

**"Veni veni veni vaus. Vena vohi vachi daus." **

**Then a number of female voices...**

**"Glorioso Gloriosa"**

**"SEPHIROTH!" Cream got up and ran again, but the man yelled something and a number of blue meteorites struck the ground in front of her, halting her only chance of escape. She turned and watched as the man approached her. He knelt down in front of her, and held up an artist's rendering of Tails. "Have you seen this... uh... person?" The man asked, obviously unsure if 'person' was an accurate term. "Wh-who wants to know?" Cream asked, trying to sound tough. Then the voices answered her question. "SEPHIROTH!" "What do you need Tails--er, that guy for, Mr. Sephiroth?"**

**"The black hedgething can supply me with what I need to achieve my ultimate goal of merging with the planet, if I can eliminate the fox creature."**

**"Really? This fox, two tails, about yea high?" Asked Cream, putting her hand in the air to indicate height. "Yes, that would be him." replied Sephiroth. "Nope, haven't seen him since last month. He left here for... uh... the Death Egg! Yeah, thats it." Sephiroth put his face directly in front of Cream's, and said "I hope for your sake you aren't lying." Then, he was off. But then, Cream remembered something; "Hey can you move the rocks?" Sephiroth, without stopping, snapped his fingers and the "rocks" vanished. "Thanks!" And she was off on her way to Tails' house. She took out her notebook and jotted down "Warn Tails of impending doom." **

**--------------------**

**4:00 P.M. Cloudy.**

**Tails was sleeping rather peacefully, for once. Since he had become a vampire, his dreams had been riddled with unpleasant images. So, as you can imagine, he was just a wee bit angry when someone started beating on the closet door. Then he found humor when he heard Sonic whisper, very quietly, "Tails? Are you asleep?". 'Oh, no. You just stuck a jackhammer next to my ear, is all.' Tails thought cynically.**

**"No, not anymore..." **

**"Good. Cream is here. She has twenty pages of questions."**

**"Happy happy, joy joy."**

**Tails got dressed, by which I mean put on his shoes, and went downstairs to see if he could come up with twenty pages of lies. He walked downstairs, and sat down on the couch, next to Cream. "You... had some questions?" He said, trying not to move his mouth too much. Cream was the only person who had been left out of being told about what happened at the funeral, as Tails had learned. They said it was for the better that she not know. Yet. The yet part is what really worried him. Cream started reading from her notebook. "What happened to your eyes? They look different somehow..." Tails said the first thing that came to mind. "Contacts." **

**"Okay. Next question. Why did you want to know about my cows?"**

**Tails thought up some nice four letter words while he thought up a good cover for that question. "They seemed a little strange the other day when I was walking by... ?"**

**"You don't seem to smile much anymore. Why not?"**

**"... uh... uh... Duck."**

**"What?"**

**"Duck!" Tails yelled as he pushed Cream to the side, barely avoiding the knife that was coming towards them himself. Sonic came in and saw the scene. Then he saw the window the knife broke. He took the knife off of the gound and threw it back at the assailant. It caught the assailant's hair, but, as we all know, hair is not a vital organ... Or an organ at all. The person didn't seem to like having his hair cut, so he dove in and tackled Sonic. It was Sephiroth. Cream looked over and saw the winged man, so she dragged Tails up to his room and locked the door behind her. Then she wrote down a new question, and asked it. "Have you been to a dentist lately? Your teeth are very out of proportion." Tails was relieved that Cream wasn't all that bright. And he also felt stupid for yelling 'Duck!', knowing that it would have blown his cover if Cream wasn't a nincompoop. Then she read something else. "There is a guy named SEPHIROTH that a black 'hedgething' hired to kill you." Then she quickly added, "But I'm sure you already know that." Tails was far too busy wondering why there was a Final Fantasy character in his house to worry about what he planned to do. Normally SquareEnix wouldn't like that. He recognised the black "Hedgething" as Shadow. **

**"Tails?"**

**Tails looked over to Cream, who had hidden in his closet, and was motioning for him to follow suit. Tails ran into the closet, and closed the door almost all of the way, just enough for him to look out of the crack in the door. He saw Sephiroth walk into his room, holding Sonic by his arm in one hand, with the Masamune, his sword, in the other. Tails had always thought Sephiroth was only as tall as Bigs, tops. He had been wrong. Sephiroth was much taller. He lifted Sonic up, and said, "Where are you hiding, little demon?" That really stung. "Tell me, and I may let your little friend here live." Sephiroth held the Masamune to Sonic's throat. **

**"Five."**

**"Four."**

**"Three."**

**"Two."**

**"Closet."**

**"Huh?" Sephiroth looked confused, then stated, "No, one is before two, stupid." The he realised what Tails had meant. He threw Sonic onto Tails' bed, and walked over to the closet. He grasped the handle, and turned it slowly in a cliche fashion. He opened the door, and...**

**Sonic jumped on his head, and was trying to blind him. He looked atTails and Creamand yelled, "Run! I got Hair Boy!" But before they had a chance to run, Sephiroth grabbed Sonic, and pierced his chest with the Masamune. Then he pried Sonic off of the blade, and threw his body on the ground. Then he turned back to Tails. The kitsune seemed to be in shock. So, Sephiroth took his sweet time walking over to Tails, picking him up, and carrying him out the door. That was as far as he would get. Something inside Tails just sort of... dissapeared for a moment or two. His vision blurred, then intensified, and then everything went to shades of red. His thought process slowed to the most basic of emotions. **

**'Kill... Sephiroth... Killed... Sonic...'**

**Tails grasped Sephiroth's arm, and squeezed. Tightly. Sephiroth started to twitch, but it obviously wasn't hurting him. So, Tails pulled. Hard. Too hard. Sephiroths forearm was no longer where it should have been. It was on the ground. But, Sephiroth wasn't bleeding. In fact, he was smiling. He took the Masamune, pointed it directly at Tails, and said, in a very calm tone for a man missing a forearm, "I was told to kill you. I was just going to bring you back to Brotherly alive. But, now? Heh. I always wondered if a little thing I have been working on would work on your kind. Demon." He raised the Masamune into the air, and yelled, "MULTINOVA!" Blue meteorites landed all around Tails, but he easily dodged them. Tails ran, as fast as he could, and launched himself towards Sephiroth. And connected. Tails ripped off Sephiroth's other arm. Sephiroth wasn't smiling anymore. Tails stood on Sephiroth's shoulders. Sephiroth didn't even try to escape. He was too stunned.**

**"I... I'm one of the most difficult bosses in my realm... and yet, here..." Crunch. Sephiroth's head landed next to his body. Tails slowed his breathing some. Then he heard something. A heartbeat. And it was rapid. He turned. Cream was standing in the front doorway. She had seen the whole thing. And she was scared. And crying. Tails' vision returned to normal, and he could think more clearly now. "Cream..." Started Tails, but before he could finish, Cream slammed the door. He heard it lock. Then, he heard a voice. An evil sounding voice. "Tailsey, you got some splainin' to do..." it sang. "Whos there!" Tails called out, surprised. "Oh, you'll find out soon enough. But for now, you should really explain to Cream what happened. Before she calls Animal Control." So, Tails reluctantly walked to the front door. He knocked. Nothing. He knocked harder. Nothing. So, he walked around and crawled through the broken window. He searched for Cream, but she wasn't there, so he looked around the rest of the house. He eventually gave up and went up to his room, where surprisingly enough, Sonic's body was gone. Tails looked around his room for a bit, then decided to check his closet. He was reaching for the knob, when Cream burst open the door, and tried to tackled him, but hurt herself trying to knock him down. Then she got up, and tried to run downstairs, but Tails grabbed her by the arm. She screamed, but he just ignored her. He sat her down on his bed, and covered her mouth with his hand.**

**"Cream, there aresome things you should know..."**

**-----------------------------**

**To be continued...**

**I like pie. But enough about me. Lets talk about my crazy fans, if I can call 'em that!**

**TC Chan writes...**

**mew...you have a super twisted sense of humour...i like...and very sarcastic at times...whihc is good. i love the idea of the vampires and such, and the whole cow thing...keep this up, its funneh!**

**You spelled "which" wrong. Also, the cow wasn't really supposed to be "funneh". Thank you for letting me do that, I feel like an awful person now. But awful is good. So it works out.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I would like to apologize to my fellow Sephiroth fans for them being whiny babies and flooding me with hatemail. I'm sorry that you weren't prepared to see our freakin' awesome idol get killed by Tails. But, alas, the story is called DarkTAILS, not DarkSephiroth, so, if your favorite character from any game appears, be prepared. Tails isn't going to die anytime soon. But, I'm not saying that there will not be any second chances for any of the characters. Hint hint.**

**9:00 P.M.**

**---------------**

**Cream listened to Tails as he explained what transpired at the funeral, and a number of the events that took place after, ending with a (crappy) explanation of what she had witnessed. Cream sat through the whole explanation, and kept telling herself she would have anyway if Tails wasn't holding her down to his bed. Cream was angry at the town as a whole for not telling her. It wasn't Tails' fault that he was like this, and he was still more or less Tails. Just, you know, don't make him angry. When he was done explaining, he uncovered her mouth. She took the opprotunity to ask him a very personal question.**

**"What is it like?"**

**Tails just sort of stared at her for a moment. Then he turned away from her. "It... Its... terrible, Cream." Tails stared at the ceiling. "I'm always hungry. Always. No matter what I try, I can't make it go away. The cow lessened it a little, for a few seconds anyway... But, that had dire consequences in the end." He turned to face Cream. "I envy you. You can walk out in the sun. If I try that, I'll die." Cream decided to change the subject, since this one wasn't exactly Tails' favorite topic. But, there was only one other thing she could think of. "Do you think there is a way to bring Sonic back?" Tails was silent for a bit, then said, "Actually, yes. There just might be." He got up, opened his window, and motioned for her to follow him. He flew out the window, and she followed him. He turned his head to face her. **

**"Come on. Lets go pay Knuckles a visit."**

**---------------**

**Knuckles had just returned from the Winn-Dixie. Actually, he was ejected by security. But thats a story for another day (never). He was surprised when he returned, to see Cream looking under a rock. She saw him, and yelled, "Found him!". Tails came out from behind the Master Emerald reading the sign Knuckles had put there. "What do you want?" Knuckles asked, taking a very good look at this Tails to make sure it was the real Tails and not just Amy again. This one was definitely orange enough. "Well, we sort of had a wee bit of trouble with a guy that Shadow hired to kill me, and--"**

**"Sonics dead, and you thought that maybe I could bring him back, right?"**

**"Yep."**

**"Hmph. Fine. Set him next to the Emerald, and leave."**

**Tails and Cream did as they were instructed, and left. Knuckles sighed, and lifted Sonic up off of the ground, and placed him on top of the Master Emerald. Knuckles then muttered something under his breath, and the emerald started to glow. Within seconds, the stab wound was completely healed. Sonic jumped off of the emerald, and assumed a defensive stance. He searched his surroundings for Sephiroth, but he wasn't there. Knuckles tapped him on the shoulder from behind, which caused Sonic to yell, then roundhouse kick the poor echidna into the Emerald. It was not his week. Sonic realised what he had done, apologized, and helped Knuckles repair the small crack in the Master Emerald before leaving for his home.**

**---------------**

**Shadow was muttering obscenities, waiting for his contact from SquareEnix to arrive. After hours of waiting, the small, portly man wobbled into Shadow's office and had a seat. "Well? Have you figured out what went wrong yet?" Shadow asked.**

**"Well, no. Everything was exactly as it should have been. Nobody has any idea what happened. We upgraded Sephiroth's move roster and everything to the standards you asked of us. Perhaps he got too confident. I mean, after all, the target seems rather cartoony... No offense."**

**"None taken. I wish I cared enough to console you for your losses, but I need somebody else."**

**"You forget-- We are SquareEnix. If we want, we can make another Sephiroth. An even better one."**

**"Sephiroth... No. Get me somebody else. Somebody who is more of a villain. Style is no longer a factor to consider."**

**"I know just the man for the job. Sephiroth may have been the most well liked villain, but he wasn't the greatest."**

**"Who do you have in mind?"**

**"He detroyed the world, was three screens tall, and had a whole bunch of other people inside him. Give up?"**

**"... Yes."**

**"Kefka."**

**"Kefka, eh? Sounds kinda girly, but alright. Three screens is pretty big..."**

**"Excellent. We will send him as soon as we get him cleaned up. Almost nobody remembers him..."**

**---------------**

**Tails got back home earlier than what he had hoped. Then, he noticed that Cream wasn't following him anymore. He just guessed she went home. 'Must have been bored...' Then, the voice. "Hello, Tails. Lose something?" **

**"Who are you! What do you want!"**

**"Oh, me? I could be your best friend... or your worst enemy. But, I'm afraid I asked you a question. Lose something?"**

**"No... wait... define 'something', please."**

**"Your girlfriend."**

**Tails blushed a bit, "She is not my girlfriend!"**

**"Right..."**

**"What have you done with her!"**

**"Oh, nothing. Yet..."**

**"Why did you take her?"**

**"Me? Oh ho, Tails, you are too funny. I would not darelay a finger onher. But... if you want her back..."**

**"... Go on..."**

**"Hang on. I need to use the loo."**

**Tails waited a moment.**

**"Okay, I'm back. If you want her back, I suggest you start looking at Green Hill."**

**Tails was already flying out that way. He didn't waste time getting there. Once there, he ran through the course, until he came upon a note. It said... **

**"Look up :)" **

**Tails looked up, and saw a man with long blonde hair. He was smiling an odd smile. It was odd because the man had fangs. He lowered himself down, and hovered in front of Tails for a few moments. Then, he landed completely, and the smile faded to a grin. "Hello, Tails." His voice... It was THE voice. "I've been expecting you."**

**"Shut up! Wheres Cream, you sick freak!"**

**"Heh. 'Sick Freak', Tails? We are of the same genus, and you would call me a freak? Like I said, you are too funny. I come to you with a proposition."**

**"I'm guessing I don't have a choice, right?"**

**"Good guesswork. Your little friend, Amy? She has jeopardised our very way of life. If you want to see the rabbit again, you will eliminate her for us. She knows nothing of our ways, and does not follow the code."**

**"Heh. Thats all, eh? I didn't even know there was a code. I'm guessing you chose me for a reason, right?"**

**"Yes. You seem to be the type of person to hold a grudge."**

**"Good guesswork."**

**"You may want to read this, so as not to repeat your careless foe's mistakes." The man said, handing Tails a HUGE book that he could barely hold.**

**"The code, I presume?"**

**"Once again, good guesswork."**

**"Where do you have Cream? I'm not doing this... for you, anyway, until I know she's safe."**

**"She will be lodging with me until you complete your tasks."**

**"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"**

**"Yes. As leader of the Bravado clan, I am required to keep all guests--"**

**"Hostages."**

**"Whatever, for any period of time. The guests--"**

**"Hostages."**

**"... Are my responsibility for as long as they stay."**

**"... Am I allowed to bring someone with me?"**

**"If you wish." The man handed Tails another book, that, again, was a little too large.**

**"Whats this?"**

**"A book of Holy incantations. The person you are going to take is the hedgehog, correct? He may need that. Its quite effective. I learned that from experience." The man pointed to a scar on his left arm.**

**"So, is that all?"**

**"No. Here is a map, on the back is my name. You must know it to gain access to our hive complex." Tails looked at the map the man handed him. He flipped it over.**

**'Site.'**

**"Why don't you just do it yourself?"**

**"It has to be one of her victims, or else she can never be undone by another of the clan."**

**"So, I'm the only victim?"**

**"Afraid so."**

**"Fine. How long do I have?"**

**"One week. That should be enough time to convince whomever you wish to take along, complete the task, find the hive, and let us know. Oh, and Tails? Don't bring your friend inside. If they are not welcomed personallyby me, they are fair game in the hive to anyone willing to break the code."**

**-----------------**

**To be continued...**

**I made the Sephiroth fanboys cry even more today, by**

**1) Taunting them with "You forget-- We are SquareEnix. If we want, we can make another Sephiroth. An even better one." "Sephiroth... No." **

**&**

**2) Replacing him with KEFKA. No, scratch that. Replacing him with Kefka for a GOOD REASON. Really, I like Sephiroth, he is cool. But, I'm not going to lie and say he's the best villain ever. Lying is bad, m'kay? Sephiroth wanted to merge with the planet. He didn't even get that far. Kefka, however, had already destroyed the world when you fought him, was three screens big, and had a crapload of other people inside him. Now, then: Dante's role model, or three screen tall ultimate manifestation ofevil? Thats what I thought. **


	7. Chapter 7

**"You gotta!"**

**"No. Shut up."**

**"You gotta!"**

**"No. Shut up."**

**"You gotta!"**

**"No. Shut up."**

**"You gotta!"**

**"No. Shut up."**

**"You gotta!"**

**"No. Shut up. Tails, I just got over being stabbed, and you want me to go on some life threatening mission to Walt Disney Land, or somewhere? Hmm... Hmm... HMMM-- NO!" Sonic yelled angrily, handing back the crusty old book that his friend had given him. "Go ask someone else."**

**"Who would go?"**

**"Uh... Crap."**

**Tails smiled, relishing his victory over the forces of logical thinking, and told Sonic, "You may want to pack a few things. All the basics. Toothbrush, toothpaste, uh... Toast... and, uh... I suck at this." Sonic laughed at the kitsune's unintended pun, trying to stuff his Coffee Mate in with his coffee maker, sugar jar, and various other caffeine-related goods. Sonic sat on his suitcase, hopping up and down, trying to close it, for about an hour. Then Tails pushed the edge of the coffee maker that was hanging out into the suitcase, and it snapped shut. Sonic just kind of glared at Tails for a few seconds. Then he grabbed his suitcase, and walked out the door. Tails followed suit. Then, the long, boring, walk from Point A to Point B. If it was a movie, you'd be watching a montage right now. To the Final Fantasy VII battle theme. And they're walking... walking... walking... Sonic stops to look at a shiny rock... and they're walking... Yeah, lets come back to them later.**

**-------------------**

**Shadow was becoming increasingly irritated. Amy had come into his office for... something, and now, for some reason, they were playing Magic: The Gathering. Shadow was irritated because out of the sixteen games that they had played, Amy had won... Sixteen of them. He had a sucky hand at the moment. Then he heard a voice. "Bog Imp." He turned, and saw a human... male(?) Looking at his hand. Shadow figured 'What the heck? I've only got 5 Life left.' and played the card. "Attack with it." Shadow, again, followed the strangely clothed man's advice. He was perplexed that Amy didn't try to block the attack. Now they were at a tie. "Play the Lava Axe on her Giant Octopus, then attack with the other Lava Axe." Shadow did as he was told. Now, Amy had no monsters, and 4 Life less than Shadow. Now Amy was irritated. "No fair. You got help from that lady!" The man(?) seemed upset about the gender confusion, and said, "I am a MAN, you stupid girl!" He then muttered something, and Amy flew against the wall. Shadow was stunned. "You... have to... teach me... how to... do that..." The man(?) smiled, then said, "Only if you can tell me my name." Shadow took a good look at the man, before replying**

**"Grandpa?"**

**"No, Stupid! You know who I am!"**

**"...Grandpa."**

**"No. Its me. Kefka!"**

**"...Grandpa Kefka!"**

**Kefka gave in. "Yes. Grandpa Kefka." He could tell that his temporary employer wouldn't make his job easy. "Do you have the target I'm supposed to eliminate yet?"**

**"Yes. Yes, I do, Grandpa." Shadow replied, handing Kefka a small portfolio. Kefka flipped through the papers, and it was quite obvious that he was just skimming for useful information. "Whats his battle pattern?"**

**"I'm sorry--wha?"**

**"His battle pattern. You know, the order his attacks rotate in?"**

**"Uh... we got this..." Shadow replied, handing Kefka a video tape, and pointing to a VCR. Kefka inserted the tape, and watched Shadow's viewscreen. It was footage of the fight with Sephiroth. Kefka stared onward in awe, then shock. What it would have taken him hours to do to Sephiroth, his 'target' had done in a matter of seconds. The footage ended. Kefka turned to Shadow. "I see why he is a problem. I'm going to need help." "No problem, hang on..." Shadow replied, grabbing his phone and dialing a number. "Yeah, its me. I'm going to take you up on your offer." He read something from a strategy guide for Final Fantasy VII. "Yeah, Safer this time. Tails can't fly infinitely, but Safer Sephiroth can." Shadow nodded, and confirmed a few more things, then hung up. **

**"You wanted help, you got help." **

**Kefka was happy to recieve it, even if it was from 'Captain Hair', as most other SquareEnix villains called him.**

**--------------------**

**Sonic, and Tails had been walking for what seemed like ages, when they stopped at a tree for a break. Sonic was getting some coffee. Well, he was looking for a place to plug in his coffee maker. On the tree they stopped under. Yeeaahh... Tails was taking a nap in one of the tree's branches. It was a nice night. No bugs, no roadkill, no filthy hippies... Sonic looked up, to see if there was a plug for his coffee in the branches. Then, he felt something. A hand, rubbing down his neck, then down his shoulder. The hand's touch was cold. Then, a familiar voice. "Hey, Sonic." Sonic whipped around, and swung his (metal) right arm at her. Tails woke up when he heard a sort of metallic clang. Sonic was laughing. "That was a dirty trick..." complained Amy, rubbing her mouth in pain. Tails saw her, and dove for her. He pinned her arms to the ground, and was about to beat her petit little face into the ground, when she let out a wry smile. "Tails, I had no idea you thought of me that way..." Tails then gasped, realising what the scene must have looked like, and jumped back off of Amy, with a look of utter disgust on his face, yelling a lot of gibberish. I only picked up the first thing he said: "I didn't mean anything like that, what the--" then he just seemed to gibber on until she got up, and grabbed Sonic. Tails rushed to stop her, but tripped. Amy stared at her weak foe. "Don't worry. I won't hurt him." She smiled. "Yet." She vanished, along with Sonic. Tails growled, and muttered a few obcscenities. He couldn't believe he fell for that old trick, after all his years of wasting away in front of the TV, watching "Full Metal Alchemist". He pounded the ground with his fists. Then, he remembered. Sonic still had the book. Tails laughed. Amy was in for far more than what she bargained for.**

**--------------------**

**No she wasn't. Amy smiled, sitting on her bed, flipping through the pages of the book. Sonic looked down at her from the holding cell she had stuck him in. He didn't know what was more humiliating, being captured, or the fact that there was a sign next to the cell he was in that said it was "For Pets Only." Is that what he was, now? A pet? Sonic scoffed, and tried to read a spell from the page Amy was on, but the text was too small. Sonic muttered a few obscenities before the book hit him in the face. "That book is full of fairy tales." Sonic sat down, and skimmed through the first few pages. It was in a strange language that he couldn't understand, so he simply took her word for it. He tossed the worthless book to the side, and sat down, trying to assess the situation. But, being the addict he was, he was dependant on coffee if his brain was to function properly, and it was very apparent that he wasn't going to get any coffee. Sonic eventually stopped giving himself a headache, and leaned his head back against the wall. He fell asleep almost instantly without coffee. **

**--------------------**

**Site was tending to the "guests" as he should have been, when he noticed something on the counter. Upon realising what the object was, a book, he gasped, and dropped the snack tray he was carrying. **

**"Crap... I gave them the wrong book..."**

**--------------------**

**To be continued...**

**I made the Sephiroth fans not hate me no mores, but now, I need to tell you the difference between "Activist" and "Hippie". Activists are cool. They say they are going to do something to help the environment, and they do it. Hippies are not cool. They say "Hey, we're savin' the environment, maaaaaaaaaaaaaan..." But all they do is sit around smoking weed and smelling like crap, and dead skunks.**

**Thank you for letting me clear that up.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Tails trudged up to the front gate of Brotherly Association, and pushed a button on a post to open the gate. He went through, and the gate closed behind him. He walked up the long, winding path to the main building. A lone Security guard stopped him at the door, and asked him, "What business do you have here?" Tails, lacking a good story, pointed behind the guard, and said, "Look! A zombie!" The guard turned, and Tails hit the guard in the back of the head with his suitcase. The guard fell over, unconcious. Or dead. Tails didn't really care. He opened the door, and slowly walked through. The door slammed shut, and Tails yelped. Tails assumed a defensive stance, expecting a fight... or something. But, he got nothing. So, Tails looked ata nearbywall-map of the building. "Okay... I am here... and, the bathroom is there... Ah. The girls' wing." And, Tails headed off in that direction, intent on getting Cream away from Site. Oh, and Sonic too, I guess. Tails walked cautiously down the winding halls, until he reached the girls' wing. Tails was surprised at what he saw next. A man... maybe. He(?) was wearing an odd headband and talking to... Sephiroth! Tails gasped. Big mistake. Sephiroth saw him, and the man(?) turned to face him as well. The man(?) smiled. He asked, "Are you lost, young ...man? This is the girls' wing."**

**"No, I'm not lost. Are you?"**

**"... JUST WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"**

**Tails laughed. It was definitely a man, and a self-concious one at that. The man pointed his hand at Tails, and started muttering something. Tails isn't Final Fantasy ignorant, though. He knows Ultima when he sees it. Tails jumped out of the way, just avoiding the mighty spell's effect radius. Tails ran up to the man, and took a good look at him. The man was obviously astounded at Tails' movement speed, because he seemed a tad frightened. Time seemed to freeze for a moment or two.**

**"Kefka?"**

**"OH MY GOD, ITS A MIRACLE! SOMEBODY ACTUALLY REMEMBERS ME!" Kefka yelled, hugging Tails. Tails couldn't breathe, although he was happy that Kefka wasn't _trying _to kill him. He was more evil than Sephiroth, but also more humorous, and not afraid to look like an idiot in public. He didn't burn towns just so SquareEnix would have to put a lavish 3-D cutscene of him doing so.**

**-----------------**

**Sonic was sitting down in his small square prison, thinking hard, when an idea hit him. Each room in the building had a loo. Where theres a loo, there always seems to be a window, for some reason... So, Sonic tried to look like he needed a good go at the toilet, and called out to Amy, "Is there a bathroom in this thing!" Unfortunatley, her answer was, "Yes! And you'll use that, It has barred windows in it!" Sonic muttered a few obscenities, and walked inside the loo, closing the makeshift door behind him. Then, he heard Amy climbing the ladder to the cell. He suddenly wished that the bathroom door had a lock on it. But, it was a piece of cardboard, so, as one might imagine, it didn't. Amy opened the cell door, and Sonic was glad that at least he wasn't really using the loo. Then a thought occured to him. What if she was making sure that he was actually on the toilet? She was moving the bit of cardboard. Sonic almost dove for the toilet. Amy entered, and gave him an odd look. He stared back at her as though she had actually walked in on him using the loo. "Can I help you?" Sonic asked, trying to feign irritation. She smiled at him. "Yes, you can." She grabbed Sonic's leg, and dragged him off the toilet. Crap. She knew he wasn't going to the bathroom. As he was dragged towards the door, he spoke the only thought he had in his mind. **

**"This won't end well."**

**-----------------**

**Sephiroth stared at the mass of fur that Kefka had befriended. Sephiroth knew it was their target, but no matter how many times he told Kefka, Kefka would either tell Sephiroth he was crazy, or ignore him completely, muttering on about having a fan, for once.**

**-----------------**

**Shadow sat behind his desk, watching Amy's room through his security monitors. She was dragging Sonic down the ladder, which was actually painful to watch. She held Sonic down to her bed. Sonic was obviously screaming something. She kissed him gingerly on the cheek. He was still screaming something. Shadow silently wished he had sprung for microphone security cameras. Shadow mashed the zoom in button for that monitor. Amy had her mouth on Sonic's left shoulder, and Sonic was still yelling his head off. Amy removed her mouth from the spot, and left the room. Shadow zoomed in on the spot she had her mouth on. No bite marks, so Shadow looked through his compendium of all knowledge of vampires. He eventually came to a section called "Mating Rituals". He read on. The procedure was supposedly meant for vampire-mortal relationships, or so the book said, and according to the book, this was the point that the vampire took a blade, and made a thin cut on the shoulder, to drain blood from the mortal without turning them. Shadow immediately glued his eyes to the screen.**

**-----------------**

**To be continued...**

**I'm sadistic, YAY! I think that I made a good lot of you mad today, so, my job is done. Also, if you don't like it, I'm not making you read it. Well, I am through mind control. BEWARE! I hadthat song from Resident Evil: Code Veronica that plays whenyou"battle"Alexia stuck in my brain when I wrote this. I need a nap now, or the scary repo men will come and get me...**


	9. Chapter 9

**It would appear that some of you don't like the fact that I only type in bold. Well... **

_**Is this better?**_

**I happen to like bold. Its... bold. And dark. Boldly dark. Sweet. So, commence the long, steady stream of hatemail I should be getting in... Ooh! Theres already some here! Sweet! I'm off! Oh, yeah, heres today's chapter.**

**-----------------------**

**Sephiroth watched, stifling laughter, as Kefka sat down the fur mass in a chair, then taking his seat on a nearby chair, as well. Kefka stared at the furball, then took out a small black book. Sephiroth tried to look in the book, but Kefka made some high pitched squealy sounds, waved Sephiroth away, and yelled "Its _my_ journal!" Sephiroth didn't know why Kefka kept the journal. He said everything he wrote aloud. "Dear Journal. Today I got a fan. Thats one less for Sephiroth! Colon, slash. I should improve my image to my fans. I know! I'll help the little... person... with whatever he was doing when I found him. He had to have been in the girls' wing for something. Maybe something... personal, if you catch my drift. Oh, I need my camera! Love, Kefka." Kefka put the journal away, then turned back to the fox. "What were you doing in the girls' wing? You must have been there for a reason." **

**"I... was looking for someone."**

**"I see. Sephiroth?"**

**"What?" Sephiroth replied to Kefka, obviously not happy to be a part of thier conversation.**

**"Leave for a sec, will ya?"**

**"Heh. No problem." **

**'With any luck, he'll be ripped to shreds.' Sephiroth thought as he hovered out the door. Sephiroth shut the door behind him, but stuck his ear to the door.**

**"So, who are you looking for?"**

**"A girl that lives here. Amy. Amy Rose."**

**"Ah, the devil girl."**

**"Yeah, that sounds like her. Pink, about yea high?"**

**"Yes, thats her. Why do you need to see her?"**

**"I need to get something from her, something she took."**

**There was a slight pause. Sephiroth leaned closer to the door. "SEPHIROTH, STOP EAVESDROPPING!" Kefka yelled, startling Sephiroth away from the door.**

**-----------------------**

**Sonic was confused. Amy had him right where she wanted him. Why not just end it? Sonic felt his left shoulder with his right hand, and brought it to his face. A little drool, but that was all. He heard the door open. He looked over. Amy was back. She had a knife. Sonic tried to get up, but couldn't. He felt like he was made of lead. He stared at her as she walked towards him. She had that same smile. She sat down next to him, and let her head rest on his shoulder. "Hold your breath. This will hurt."**

**"What are you going to do to me?"**

**Amy was silent. She placed the knife on Sonic's left shoulder, and cut a gash in the spot on his shoulder she had drooled on. She placed her mouth back on the spot. Sonic still couldn't move. Couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything. Sonic tried to close his eyes, but he couldn't. He wished he had looked elsewhere so he didn't have to watch as Amy slowly drained his blood from the wound. She eventually lifted her head back up, and licked the excess blood off of her lips. Sonic could speak again. He stared at her. "You are a sadist." She just giggled. "Oh, so you think its funny?" She didn't reply. She simply lifted him up in her arms as though he weighed nothing. He couldn't move anything he particualarly wished he could, so he just looked away from Amy. She carried him back inside the small holding cell, yawned, and laid him down in the middle of the square facility. She grabbed his head. 'Great,' he thought, 'Now what?' She turned his head to face her. She was smiling, still, although Sonic wasn't particularly suprised. She leaned towards him, and fell asleep, landing on his left arm. Sonic looked out the bathroom window. The sky outside was starting to light up. Sonic looked back at Amy. She seemed so innocent when she was asleep, like most things do, but Sonic didn't take his eyes off of her for a second. He wasn't going to let her do whatever it was she did again. **

**-----------------------**

**Kefka panicked. His fan appeared to have conked out. Kfka checked the clock. 5:00 A.M. Suspicious, Kefka slowly put his hand on his fan's upper lip, and curled it back. Kefka sighed. 'Well,' he thought, releasing his fan's upper lip, 'a vampire fan is better than no fans.' He lifted up the small fox that had two tails, and set him down in the closet that each room had. Kefka closed the door, and called out, "Sephiroth! You can come in now!" Sephiroth hovered in, looking around the room. "Wheres your new friend?" "Closet."Kefka replied simply. "I'm telling you, Kefka. Thats the guy we are supposed to kill for the hedgething." Sephiroth replied, frustrated. "Ah, you don't know what you're talking about."**

**-----------------------**

**-N-I-G-H-T-M-A-R-E- (Daymare, actually...)**

**Tails was fighting someone. He didn't know who. All he knew was that he didn't want to be fighting this person. Tails couldn't see the person, or hear anything. Tails looked around. A kick from behind. Tails recovered quickly, and delivered a kick to the person. He saw someone land a good distance away from the kick. He ran over to the person. It was... "Sonic?" Tails asked. Sonic looked back at him. He was angry. Tails offered Sonic a hand in getting up. Sonic took it, and got up. He stared at Tails. Then, he drew back his left hand. And stabbed Tails through the chest with something. Tails looked down at his chest. He had been stabbed with... the Masamune? Tails looked back at Sonic. A figure emerged from behind Sonic. Sephiroth. He turned to Sonic, and smiled at him. "Well done, apprentice. I see you've killed yourself a demon. Well, he isn't dead yet, but he is doomed." Sonic smiled back at Sephiroth, ripped the Masamune out of Tails' chest, and handed him the blade. "Thanks." Sonic turned to Tails. "It was fun." They walked off together, laughing at Tails.**

**-R-E-A-L-I-T-Y- (In the closet...)**

**Tails shot up, wide awake, looked around, and felt his chest before breathing a sigh of relief. The dream had been so realistic... All of his dreams were realistic now, but this one... The landscape, the people, everything just seemed so real. Too real. Tails tried to forget, but couldn't. He eventually fell back asleep. He would worry about it later.**

**-----------------------**

**To be continued...**

**I did this to lots of different music. The first part was done to Kefka's theme from _Final Fantasy VI_. The second part was done to Saturos and Menardi's battle from _Golden Sun_. Then, Kefka's theme again for the third part, and for the nightmare scene, I listened to the music that plays when you fight Mr. X in _Resident Evil 2_. Do you care? Probably not. Should you care? Probably not. Am I a little on the off side? Probably. BOLD TEXT FOREVER!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I like cake. Cake is full of sugar. And sugar is niiiiiiice... But enough of my rambling, enjoy.**

**---------------**

**Shadow watched his monitors in disgust. Kefka had befriended Tails, thinking of him as a fan. Amy was sadistically torturing Sonic with vampire-human mating rituals, which wasn't really BAD for Shadow, per se. But he was expecting it to be more violent... And now, Tails and Amy were asleep, so there was nothing for him to do... But, Shadow just switched to MTV 2 and watched a Viva La Bam marathon (I wish...) until night, then he switched back to the monitors. Tails and Kefka were gone, and Sephiroth was tied up. Shadow cursed. Kefka had obviously waken Tails early so that they could find Amy. Shadow normally wouldn't care, but he needed Amy to be alive if he was going to successfully realise his ultimate goal. So, he grabbed his gun, and dashed off to the girls' wing. When he arrived, he was greeted by Kefka. "Kefka, your assignment was to eliminate Tails--the fox! Why would you not do this simple task?" Kefka looked at Shadow as though he had lost his mind, and replied, "Because, I have a fan. Which is one more than what I usually have. Now, if I kill my fan, I would have no fans. Again. And that would be taking on step forward, then two steps back." Kefka aimed his palm at Shadow, and started to mumble something, but Shadow quickly aimed and fired, blowing Kefka's entire hand off. Like Sephiroth, Kefka didn't bleed. Kefka rushed at Shadow, and knocked him down, causing his gun to fall out of his hand and slide waaaaay across the room. Just like them there moving picture shows I hear tale of so much. Then Shadow got back up. Then he and Kefka did thier little John Woo stand-off thing. Then Kefka got bored and beat the crap out of Shadow. Then Kefka grabbed his missing hand off of the floor. **

**"Wheres the glue?"**

**---------------**

**Tails looked at the piece of paper Kefka had given him. "Room 6,009,339,374,759, Ah, here it is, Room 6,009,339,374,760!" Tails said. He almost opened the door, but decided to put his ear to the door istead. Yay! Common sense! He stuck his ear closer to the door. He could make out Sonic's voice... **

**"YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME! GET BACK! I HAVE A POINTY PIECE OF SHRAPNEL AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT!"**

**Oh, yeah. It was definitely Sonic. But then, he heard another voice. Amy.**

**"Come on, You know you want to--"**

**"OH, I KNOW I DON'T WANT TO! NO! STAY BACK! I'LL POKE THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!"**

**There was a short silence, followed by a splatter noise. Then Amy giggled some.**

**"Sonic, who taught you anatomy? The heart is here, not next to the stomach."**

**"THAT WAS A PRACTICE, BACK OFF YOU CRAZY GIRL THING! OH DEAR GOD NO!"**

**There were some scraping noises. Then a high pitched, girly scream. Then a long, awkward silence...**

**"See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?"**

**"... I hate you."**

**"I know."**

**"No, really. Hate."**

**"Yes, yes, cry us all a river and such."**

**"... You aren't really Amy, are you?"**

**"What? Yes I am! I guess... I just never had any means to get what I wanted. And now, I do."**

**She giggled again. There was a sort of ripping noise, then Sonic screamed.**

**"AGH! MY FREAKIN' ARM!"**

**"Oh, relax. At least I only took the fake one."**

**"THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T HURT, YOU CRAZY! IT WAS GRAFTED TO MY SHOULDER!"**

**"Whiner."**

**Tails couldn't help it-he HAD to see this. He opened the door and ran inside. He gasped. There was a tape recorder playing on top of Amy's bed. And a note. Tails picked up the note. It said...**

**'Not that easy.'**

**Tails grit his teeth, and yelled out a few obscenities. Kefka entered through the doorway. "What? Is she here?"**

**"No."**

**"Well, that sucks."**

**"I hate her."**

**"What? Why?"**

**"Why not?"**

**"She... uh... hmm... My fans are smart..."**

**"Where did she go? Where could she have gone?"**

**"I keep tabs on everyone. She kept muttering on to that blue thing of hers that she had always wanted to visit Fiji..."**

**"...FIJI? THATS HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD!"**

**"She obviously doesn't want you near her."**

**"Crap... I don't know what I should do now..."**

**"You should go tell your clan leader about this turn of events."**

**Tails turned to face Kefka. He was reading a book, titled Vampire Knowledge for Complete and Total Morons With Nothing Better To Do With Thier Time. **

**"I think I will." And with that, they were off.**

**---------------**

**Sonic was on a plane, sitting next to Amy, again, he couldn't move most of his body. He glared at Amy. She was smiling innocently at him. He was wearing a red wool sweater to cover up his (once again) missing right arm. He, of course, hadn't put it on. The plane was taking off. Sonic muttered a few obscenities, then glanced out the window. He turned his attention back to Amy every few seconds to make sure she stayed right where she was. She just seemed to drift off into space, or deep thought, after a bit, so Sonic turned his full attention to the window. There didn't seem to be much activity. Sonic just sat there, looking out the window. He had a choice, but it wasn't much of a choice. Watch the _Resident Evil_ lip-girl, or stare out the window. Eventually, some kid started running up and down the hallway, with her parents yelling and chasing her. He sighed and concentrated harder on the night sky, trying to make out the serial number on the wing when he heard the girl choking. He looked over. Amy had grabbed the girl by the throat, and Amy's retinas had turned a solid red. Amy pulled the girl close to her face, and bared her fangs at the child. The girl went silent. Amy whispered something into the girl's ear, and threw the girl down. The girl walked, silently, to her parents, and they sat down in thier seats. "That was mean." Sonic told Amy. Amy faced him. Sonic went pale. She got directly in front of his face. "Shut up." Sonic leaned away from Amy. She grabbed his right shoulder, and pulled him towards her. Sonic gulped. Amy didn't blink, and, from what Sonic could tell, wasn't even breathing. Thier eyes met. Sonic froze. Amy whispered to him, "You better hope this plane lands soon, Sonic." She let Sonic have a good view of her fangs. "I'm getting hungry, and you are seated closest to me." Sonic started to sweat. Was she for real, or was she just trying to scare him? He didn't know anymore. He started to ask, but, decided against it. Amy's eyes were serious enough. He believed her. He cleared his throat, glancing at the people that were starting to stare. Amy let go of Sonic, and turned her attention to the crowd. They all took a good look at her, then pretended to be reading magazines or watching the lip-girl. Sonic got an idea. A crazy idea, that might kill him, but an idea. He would try the same trick twice, since we all know where airplane toilets REALLY lead... "Amy...?" Sonic asked, trying to mask the hint of fear in his voice. She turned to him. "Can I use the bathroom?" He asked, trying not to studder. Amy glared at him for a little bit. "No." Sonic was about to ask her again, but decided against it. She had made it clear that he wasn't going anywhere for the rest of the six hour flight. Wow, fast plane...**

**---------------**

**Kefka was waiting outside his fan's "hive complex", casually speaking with the guard, who, surprisingly enough, seemed to enjoy the company. Kefka had been in the middle of a joke about a rabbi, a bundle of twigs, and a tonberry walking into a bar, when his fan re-emerged from the entrance, wearing a black jacket, and a pair of sunglasses. His fan removed the glasses, and turned to Kefka. "We should go to the airport. Got our tickets right here." He told Kefka, holding up two thin pieces of paper with some wierd language printed on them. They walked towards the airport, and made it halfway there before the sun started to rise, and they bought rooms in a hotel. Kefka decided to adjust his sleeping schedule to match his fans', since they would obviously be traveling together if he was going to help the small... cartoon... mammal... person... thing... ish. And so, on the second day of "Kefka's Adventure", copyright Kefka Entertainment, Inc., they reached the airport.**

**---------------**

**To be continued...**

**I thought today I would end the chapter with some reader reviews. Cue theme song.**

_**READER REVIEWS! READER! REVIEWS! FOR PEOPLE TOO STUPID AND/OR LAZY TO CLICK ON THE REVIEW BUTTON! DOODOODOO!**_

**Knuckles9048 reviews...**

**This is... quite the story. I will never... NEVER... look at life the same again.**

And I thought I was the only guy with this kind of sense of humor.

WAFFLES!

**Waffles! Yeah! Awesome! Right! Go away now, and remember-- stay away from the Quaker Oatmeal guy! He'll steal your soul and give it to the creepy Burger King Guy! Moving on to cats4fun, who reviews...**

**keep up the good work!**

**Short, sweet, and to the point. I like it, even though there isn't enough to make fun of the reviewer. Well, I'll just comment on the name. ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! **

**Finally, a review that if you, like me, are far too lazy to care that it is from a week ago, will enjoy this next one, from Sponge.**

**I would just like to point out that the entire first paragraph is in bold, which is hurting my eyes. I do suspect this is something caused when the file was transferred onto**

The paragraph at the end is also quite bunched together; it wouldn't hurt to split it up into two or three paragraphs.

I think that it will really improve the readability and presentation of your fic.

**I like bold. That is why the entire fic is written in bold. Wear glasses. It helps. Really. Also, could _you_ please finish that sentence? Believe it or not, I really do want to know how it ends.**

**The next line is legitimately good advice, but, being the lazy turd that I am, I'm just going to leave it like it is. **

**I think so too. Which is exactly why I haven't changed a thing about any aspect or writing style in this fic.**

**Thank you for letting me do that, I feel even worse about myself now. But, anguish sustains me, so its okay. I'm off to the Waffle House. What? I'm visiting a cousin in Jacksonville, Florida. All they have is waffles. If you live there, go around town, randomly asking people "Are you Will Counter?" I'll say "No". Thats how you'll know its me. (Watches as a few idiots frolick off to do so)**

**Well, I've gone off and rambled an otherwise short chapter into a relatively (HOLY CRAP ITS BIG) long one.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Lets just jump right into the chapter soup, shall we?**

**Noon**

**-------------------**

**Sonic was (being forced to) unpack Amy's things. It was a miracle (for her, anyway...) that they made it in time for him to be stuck unpacking her things, because the sun was coming up, and she had to sleep in the closet. Do you know how hard it is to unpack twenty suitcases WITH ONLY ONE ARM? It isn't easy. No, not easy at all... After three long, grueling hours, Sonic was done, so he gave himself a pat on the back, and had a good passing-out. He woke up in the room's only bed (hmmm...). It was night, but he could hear everything that was going on. He heard Amy talking to... someone... **

**"Oh, Bob, tonight has truly been wonderful. I've never seen so much of a city in one sitting before!"**

**"Indeed, it was... hmm... invigorating, shall I say?"**

**"Yes, yes it was... Whoa! Its Tom Cruise!"**

**"What? Where? Hide me from the dangerous sociopath!"**

**There was a cracking noise, followed by a sort of scraping sound. Then he heard the door close. Sonic's eyes had adjusted to the lack of light, so he looked over to the door. Amy was dragging some guy by the shirt collar. She sat down on the foot of the bed, and reaised the body towards her mouth. Sonic closed his eyes, but that didn't help. It was noisy. Sort of a slurpy, gloppy, _shlorp _noise. Sonic ran into the bathroom, and immediately started vomiting. When he was done, he heard a knock on the door. "Who is it?" He asked sarcastically. **

**"Open up! I need to wash my face!"**

**"You'll have to wait for me to wash the vomit off of mine."**

**"Whiner."**

**Sonic just silently washed his face, opened the door, and left. There was no sense in arguing. There wasn't much sense to anything. Sonic just wanted some coffee. That was when he noticed it. Amy's other suitcase... The one she told him not to unpack. He opened it. Cash. 'Well, that explains how she got all this stuff...' Sonic said, closing the suitcase. "Don't get any funny ideas." Amy said. 'Crap. I'm DOOMED!' thought Sonic. Amy took the suitcase, and set it on the top shelf of the closet. She turned back to Sonic. "Didn't I tell you not to open that suitcase?"**

**"No, you said, and I quote, 'Don't unpack the green one, yawn, I'm going to bed.' End quote." **

**"...I hate it when I'm vague."**

**-------------------**

**Tails woke up. It was night, so he went on the room next to his and knocked on the door until Kefka answered, wearing some "I Love Tonberries" pajamas. He looked around, then turned to Tails. "Oh, is it night already? I suppose I should get dressed to leave then, shouldn't I?" Kefka replied, slamming the door. About three minutes later, Kefka came back out from his room, wearing the usual red and green tunic, with gold shoes and a headband. "Well, I'm ready. Lets go keel us some pink thing!" And with that, they departed for the airport. They reached thier destination without much difficulty, and got on the plane. It was about three hours into the flight that Kefka realised what he was doing. Aloud, I might add. "I'm riding an airship, sitting next to a vampire, with whom I am going to a land called 'Fiji', and I'm wearing a girly headband." Kefka concluded. Then he realised that he had said all that out loud, and that Tails' eyes had widened. Kefka paused and looked around. "... is the name of my book that I'm writing. Sounds fascinating, doesn't it?" The people on the plane all groaned. Tails made sure that nobody was watching before punching Kefka in the face (not hard of course--its still Kefka, here). The plane landed smoothly with minimal turbulence, so they (Kefka) asked all the people in the airport if they had seen two small cartoon animals. Their efforts led them to a large hotel. Hotel Ricaronna. This was, supposedly, the place. Tails truned to Kefka. "You ready?"**

**"As I'll ever be."**

**"Lets go." Tails replied, walking inside the hotel.**

**-------------------**

**Kefka stared in amazement. He had been in an inn before, but this was different. This was a hotel. There were people in red that were paid to stand in an elevator. And a monkey-suit guy that carried your bags to your room! He continued to stare, and drooled a little, before his fan came back. "Room 240. Fifth floor." He said, asking Kefka to remember it. They got in the elevator and told the elevator guy to take them to Floor Five. Kefka spotted the door almost immediately. His fan went in first, then came back out a few seconds later, trying to stifle laughter. "Th... That was too rich... Oh my God, you have to see this, Kefka." His fan whispered to him. They crept back inside, and Kefka almost started laughing, but held it back. The blue hedgething was sleeping on the girl's bed... sucking his thumb! But, where was the devil girl at? His question was answered when he saw a lump in the bedsheets. "Aww... they look so natural..." He whispered to his fan. Kefka's fan reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled out a handgun. Kefka gave the fox a questioning look. His fan turned to him. "Silver bullets. Love 'em, and hate 'em." He told Kefka. Kefka pretended to understand. The fox aimed at the lump, and fired several shots. Blood splattered onto the walls. Kefka went over and poked the lump. "Is she dead?" He asked, poking the lump more. His fan dropped the gun, grabbed the sheets, and yanked them off. Kefka tried not to vomit. Oh, yeah, she was probably dead. The fox dragged the body into the bathroom, and closed the door behind him. A few seconds later, Kefka heard a scream, so he dashed over and opened the door. He burst into hysterics. **

**"Do you two need some 'alone time' or what?"**

**His fan shot him a 'not funny' look. The pink one had apparently survived, and had his fan's arms pinned to the ground. She slammed him against the wall. He appeared to be unconcious. She turned to Kefka. Then looked at the bathroom window. Then back to Kefka. She glared at him. Her retinas were red. "If you are smart, you will jump out that window right now." She growled at him. He was about to protest, but looked at his fan unconcious on the ground, and did as he was told. He simply switched to "three screens tall mode" mid-fall, then back to normal upon hitting the ground.**

**-------------------**

**Tails snapped back into conciousness. He ran back into the main room. Amy was wiping herself off as she walked back towards bed. She noticed the gun. So did he. He dove for it, but she kicked it under the door. She glared at him, and picked him up by the throat with one hand. She wasn't really hurting him, but he acted like she was. Eventually he stopped moving completely, acting dead, and she dropped him. She turned to Sonic, and hit him. He yelped. She glared at him. Silence. "Get up. We're leaving."**

**"Why is there blood everywhere... Oh. Right... I forgot.. You went insane and are holding me hostage."**

**"Shut up."**

**Silence. Amy handed Sonic a sweater. "Put this on."**

**"But its itchy. And it smells of overripe bananas."**

**"PUT... IT... ON..."**

**"Fine." Sonic replied, getting out of bed and putting on the sweater. Amy grabbed his arm, and pulled him to the door. She opened it. Tails saw his chance. He rolled ut the door and grabbed the gun. He pointed it directly at Amy's heart. She gave him that smile. That evil smile. "What are you going to do? Shoot me?"**

**"Yeah.. I was thinkin' about it..."**

**"Twelve."**

**"What?"**

**"Twelve bullets. Thats how many you wasted."**

**"But.. This clip only holds twelve... I'm dead, aren't I?"**

**Her smile grew wider. "No... YOU aren't..." She trailed off. Then, she grabbed Sonic, and pulled him towards her. **

**She bit him.**

**-------------------**

**To be continued...**

**My mother read this chapter and told me I had a sick imagination. And she said that I suffer from insanity. Thats not true. I enjoy every minute of it.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the delay. I've been attacked by a level 19 WritersBlock and had to make a few good Creativity saving throws to defeat it. I got 2,000,000,000,000 Gil! Anyways, the prologue of this chapter is from Sonic's point of view... GO, WILL COUNTER! FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND AND MEGAMAN JOKES!**

**-----------------**

**Chapter prologue (Sonic's POV)**

**All I ever wanted... Ever NEEDED was a good cup of coffee. And maybe a waffle or two... Or ten. I love waffles. **

**It sort of stings, when they bite you. More of an itching sensation afterwards. This really isn't the first time I've been bitten. I have a natural immunity to them. Something to do with my connection to the Chaos Emeralds, I wasn't really paying atention. Amy will be in for a surprise when I awake from the temporarycomatose state that the bite puts one in. I've bitten a vampire once. They taste a little like corn. The only question I really feel I need to know is, why does Tails hesitate? I don't know... Nap time...**

**-----------------**

**Tails stared onward in horror as Amy threw down his best friend's body, and... **

**Smiled. AGAIN.**

**It was too much. Tails fell to his knees. His sorrow turned to rage. He saw his vision blur, intensify, and turn to shades of red, like they did with Sephiroth. He glared up at Amy. She kicked him. Hard. He smashed into the wall. His head felt like it was about to burst. He didn't care. He ran at her. She ducked back inside the room, and slammed thedoor in his face. He kicked the door. It fell. A Latin guy started yelling out in Spanish. He grabbed her, and rammed her against the wall. She yelled out in pain. He did something he didn't think he could ever do.**

**He laughed at her.**

**She had caused him so much pain, so much misery, that seeing her in pain was the highlight of his night. He slammed her face repeatedly to the wall, before throwing her out the window. He watched as she fell from the fifth floor and landed on the ground with a sickening crack. He floated down beside her, and, with time and effort, crammed her unconcious body down a gutter. He flew back up to the room. And went to sleep into the closet. He was tired...**

**-----------------**

**Kefka muttered obscenities as he dashed up the stairs, on his way to the fifth floor. He was thinking of what to do. He couldn't kill the devil girl. He reached floor five, and walked out into the hallway. His eyes widened in surprise. The pink thing's blue companion was lying face first in a pool of his own blood. Kefka's fan was nowhere to be seen. Kefka walked over to the thing. The spiked whatchamacallit appeared unconcious. Kefka flipped the blue thing over and checked its pulse. It was still... whatever you called these things. A hedge-something-or-other. Kefka was dumbstruck, however, when he found bitemarks on the hedgething's left shoulder. Judging from the amount of blood loss, he should have turned by this point. Or died. But neither had occured. Kefka went through the doorway and produced a blade from one of his layers of robes. Nobody. Kefka yawned, and, through obscenities, expressed his regret in his decision to adjust his sleep schedule. He decided that a nap couldn't hurt. But he changed his mind. Something had knocked the door down, and he didn't really want to mess with it right now. He looked in the bathroom for his fan. Nope. Nothing. So, he opened the closet. Then he closed the closet door.**

**-----------------**

**Sonic snapped into reality when he heard a loud, girly scream. Sonic poked his head through the door. A man(?) was backing away from the closet, and looked a little flustered. The man turned to him, and said "Don't go in the closet, thingy." It took a few seconds for Sonic to to realise that he was "Thingy."**

**"Uh... why? Who are you?"**

**"Because theres a scary red eyed thing in there. I'm Kefka."**

**"Uh... Okay..." Sonic replied as he walked over to the closet. He opened the door. Two red eyes stared back at him. Sonic flipped on the closet light. It was Tails. Sonic sighed with relief before closing the closet door. At least he wouldn't have to deal with Amy anymore. He turned to Kefka. He seemed a little more relaxed, as well. **

**Awkward silence.**

**Sonic finally broke the awkward silence. He pointed to the closet. "Thats Tails. He's my friend." "Really? He's my _fan_." Kefka replied.**

**More awkward silence. Again, broken by Sonic.**

**"You like coffee?"**

**"Oh, I _love _coffee."**

**"Really? Me too!"**

**"Wow!"**

**"Wanna go get some right now?"**

**"Yeah, lets do that!"**

**And so, get coffee they did.**

**-----------------**

**To be continued...**

**"And so, get coffee they did." Master Yoda, I am not. Reviews you will send, and reply, I shall consider. Stop talking like this, I must. **

**Next time on DARKTAILS Z!**

**(Cheesy ending music)**


	13. Chapter 13

**I just noticed that in chapter 1, it says DarkTails, by Willaim Penn. Oops, where was my mind when I wrote that? Well... This chapter will follow the villains. Also, this chapter has an unofficial title. Its unlucky. Its... XIII.**

**---**

**Gutters lead to Sewers, Sewers lead to Oceans.**

**------------------------**

**Amy snapped into conciousness. She was floating somewhere. She looked around. She couldn't see any land. She was... in the middle of the ocean. She cursed at herself for letting her guard down long enough for this to happen. She started swimming in a random direction. She had decided to do this, and hoped to reach land before the sun got to... where ever she was... She could barely make out a landform, when she heard it.**

_**("Jaws" theme music)**_

**Amy looked around, and saw the fin. "You have GOT to be freakin' kidding me." Nope. It advanced closer. It was dangerously close. She kicked at the fin. And connected with something. The shark came up, and yelled out in a nasally voice. "Oh, Jesus! Why did you have to go and do that? I think you broke my nose!" Amy stared at the shark in disbelief. _This _was Jaws? As in, "render fleshy-things to the bone in a matter of seconds", Jaws? Pathetic. Lame. Wuss. The shark swam away, sniffling. Amy continued to swim towards the land mass until she was too tired to move. She floated there, drifting, until she heard a boat. She looked around. Nothing. She continured swimming to the landmass. She was getting tired. Seriously tired. She fell into unconciousness.**

**------------------------**

**Shadow swore out of frustration as he sat up. He was surrounded... by... **

**"NO! THE ULTIMATELY HUMILIATING WAY TO DIE! RIPPED TO SHREDS BY A MOB OF DERANGED FANGIRLS!"**

**One of the fangirls frowned at him. **

**(Censored due to guns, violence, alchohol, and various illegal substances)**

**Shadow sighed with relief. He looked around at the mass of unconcious fangirls around him. **

**"Boy, I sure would hate to be the sap who didn't get to see that incredible, breathtaking, totally awesome, and by far ULTIMATE display of skill, power, and cheese graters."**

**------------------------**

**He looked out the window. It would be soon. Soon, he would have what he needed for... the Ritual. He drew a card from a deck. An image of a small, cartoony looking rabbit with long ears appeared on the card. Underneath the image, the word "KEY" materialized. Hmm. So, this rabbit thing was the last necessary ingredient for the Cataclysm, eh? He looked to an empty containment chamber, then the other six, already occupied. All of the other ingredients for the Cataclysm to begin were gathered from the greatest of games.**

**A Hero of Time.**

**A Psychic warrior.**

**A hunter of S.T.A.R.S.**

**A scientist/freedom fighter.**

**A ninja spectre.**

**And... a... psycho... turtle... spikey... thing...**

**He looked at them all. They all glared back. He looked at them all, a triumphant grin on his face. The Hero of Time yelled, "You won't get away with this!" He laughed at the elf for using such a cliche line of dialogue. Surprisingly enough, he wasn't the only one. The spiked turtle was in stitches. He glared at the turtle. The others watched in horror as the turtle's mouth melted into his face. He examined all the cards, calling out each of the names as he passed each card.**

**"Link. ACTIVATOR."**

**"Razputin. Alias, Raz. REACTOR."**

**"The Nemesis. CHANNELER."**

**"Gordon. TIMER."**

**"Hanzo. Alias, Scorpion. REAPER."**

**"Kooper. Alias, King Koopa. Alias, Bowser. SACRIFICE."**

**He examined the card with the image of the rabbit. **

**"Cream the Rabbit. KEY."**

**------------------------**

**To be continued...**

**Yeah, I know, its short. But it had some good, solid plot advancement. By the way, "He", from the last part of the chapter, is NOT SHADOW. It is a new villain. Who? You will see, young Padawan. I mean, reader. Hint: What do all the characters have in common? Figuring this out will narrow your search GREATLY. Sorry, fanboys/girls, it ain't Sephiroth. But if it makes you feel better, I wrote "His" part of the chapter to "One Winged Angel". I can't keep a secret from you people. Well, I can, but I'll give you the hint anyways. None of the games suck. There. Think of all the games out there. Which ones don't suck? There you go. Theres your selection. Have fun fantasizing on who it is. Another hint? Its not from any of the games that the "ingredients" are from.**


	14. Chapter 14

To gain, something of equal or greater value must first be lost. This is alchemy's first principal of Equivalent Exchange. It also has nothing to do with _this _story. Chapter Fourteen?

Chapter Fourteen: Aye, sir?

Engage.

Chapter Fourteen: Aye sir. (Engages)

----------------------

They Approach

------------------------------

Knuckles stood in front of the Master Emerald, guarding it like a good little... guardian. It seemed to be a quiet enough day. He glanced around. Nobody. Knuckles took out the sign that read, "SOURCE OF ALL CHAOS ENERGY. DO NOT TOUCH." And took a nap. No sleep in three weeks really makes you tired.

----------------------

Tails woke up. His vision was still red, but he felt better. As if all was well. So, he opened the closet door. He immediately burst into tears of laughter. Sonic lay passed out in the doorway, and an empty coffee mug was on its side next to him. Kefka was also passed out, muttering something like, "Uwee, victory is mine! Uwee hee hee! Take that Edgar, and your stupid drill, too!" Tails just dismissed them as passing out from a coffee high. The coffee mugs next to them were the hint. He walked around the room for a bit before deciding that he was super hungry. He looked around for... something. Eventually a bird landed on the windowsill. It eyed Tails suspiciously. Then hopped toward him. Tails smiled at his good fortune.

"Perfect."

----------------------

Site was in his (windowless) room, enjoying a good sleep, when he heard a knock at his door. He opened the door a crack. Cream.

"Mister Site, theres a man in funny purple clothes with long Sephiroth hair at the door." Site stared at Cream for a bit. Then he moved past her to the door. Indeed, the man had odd purple clothes and long, silvery hair. "Um... Can I help you?" Asked Site. The man looked at him questioningly before replying. "Yes. Ye can."

"Okay. How?"

"I seek the one called 'Cream'."

"And you are...?"

"Mine name... is Fo-lou."

"Right... and... why do you talk like that?"

"I dost not know myself..."

"Well... Cream can't play right now. She is collateral at the moment!" Site replied happily before slamming the door in Fo-lou's face.

----------------------

Fo-lou stood there in shock for a moment. Well, it wasn't going to be as easy to get the Key as he had originally hoped... He formed an odd... energy... windy... light... sword... thingamahoozit... swordy! Yeah, thats it! Swordy. He formed a swordy in his hand from nowhere, and sliced the door in half. The blonde guy turned to face him. Fo-Lou suddenly remembered the person.

"BOMBERMAN!"

"What?"

"I MISSEDETH YOU, BOMBERMAN!"

"GET BACK!" Bomberman replied, swinging a chair at Fo-Lou. Easily dodged. He ran up to Bomberman. "HOW HAVE YE BEEN, MAN OF BOMBING THINGS?" The blonde stared at him. "You... are on drugs..."

"... Maybe..."

"Definitely."

"No! Possibly. Yea."

"Thought so."

"Well, I canneth quit anytime I wisheth. ETH!"

"Okay. Leave."

"Yea, alright."

And with that, Fo-Lou left the complex.

----------------------

Sonic woke up with a splitting headache. He lifted himself to a sitting position. It was night. He saw a small bird laying sprawled on the ground. It was dead, as most headless things are. No blood, though. Sonic, his brain saturated in caffeine once more, just dismissed it as normal. He went to the sink and dipped his face in icy cold water. When he emerged from the cold liquids, he yawned a bit, then turned around and screamed, falling onto the sink counter. "Jesus, Tails! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Tails just stood there, laughing uncontrollably. "I... uh... _found _this in the area." Tails said, holding up a certain metal arm. Sonic took it, and tried to shove it back into place. Yeah, that was _reeeeeal _smart of him. He turned to Tails. "Uh... yeah... I... don't know squat about how this thing works..." He told the vampire kitsune, handing the arm back. "I don't get it either. Big is a lot smarter than he lets on..." Tails replied, inspecting the chunk of metal. "So, wheres Amy?" Tails winced, then turned to the blue hedgehog. "I think I killed her." He paused, and then added, "And it was fun." Sonic's eyes widened for a moment. "Well... thats... uh... nice." He replied, taking deep breaths. Tails smiled at Sonic. "Relax, it wasn't _that _fun." he lied.

"Thanks... I think."

"Heh. So, what should we do with Coco the clown over there?" Tails asked, motioning to Kefka, who was still asleep on the floor. "Be nice to the poor old lady, Tails." Kefka snapped into conciousness, yelled "Not a lady!" to Sonic, and drifted back to sleep. Sonic got an idea, and a mischevious smile spread across his face. Tails noticed it, and stifled laughter. Sonic whispered, very quietly...

"Lady."

"Not a lady!"

"Lady."

"Not a lady."

"Lady."

"ULTIMA!"

"What?" Sonic asked as he was hit with the spell. He survived, with minimal damage. But he was still on fire in some places. Kefka blushed through the gallons of mascera covering his face. "Sorry. The voices in my head tell me to burn things. Things like people. I listen to them." He smiled, and went back to sleep. Sonic stared at Kefka until Tails told him, "Calm down. I can hear your heart beating from over here. And I'm not trying to. That sound is really annoying." Sonic felt his eye twitch. He walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet for a few hours, in his happy place. When he finally calmed down, he exited. Tails was nowhere in sight. Nor was Kefka. Sonic walked over to the T.V., and was about to turn it on, when he was grabbed from behind. He gasped. The unknown figure put his hand over Sonic's mouth. It was cold. Tails loosened his grip some. "Quiet. Theres somebody outside." Tails dragged Sonic into the closet, and closed the door behind him. He turned to Sonic. "Who is it?" Sonic whispered. Tails grinned. "Nobody. I just needed to get away from Makeup Lad." Sonic snickered. Makeup Lad, that was a good one. He took a memo pad out of one of his nonexistent pockets. "Hey Tails, do you have a pen?" Tails looked around. Sonic noticed that Tails' eyes and fangs all glowed in the dark. Cool. Really, his fangs were more of a gleam. And, from the ease with which Tails was moving, it was obvious that he could see in the dark, as well. Sonic allowed his eyes to adjust to the closet's lighting, or lack thereof. Tails handed him a pen. He wrote "Makeup Lad" and then drew a chibi version of Kefka's head next to the writing. He looked up from the notepad. "Tails, no offense, but..."

"What?"

"You're about three inches away from my face, and... its kinda creeping me out."

"Six."

"Wha?"

"I'm six inches away from your face."

"Well, you're in my bubble. Out of the bubble."

Tails took a step back. "How is this?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Cool. Uh..."

"What?"

"Did you... get a hair cut, or something?"

Sonic felt his head quills. They were, indeed, shorter. Sonic ran out of the closet, knocking Tails down in the process. He dashed in front of the mirror, located beside the sink. He screamed. Amy had, apparently, cut his "hair". And she didn't do a very good job of it, either. He had Mecha Sonic hair! But, it wasn't metal, thankfully. He produced a ring from somehwere and hurled it at the mirror. The ring broke, but so did the mirror. They were chased out of the hotel by the Latin guy from the previous chapter.

"So... what now?" Tails asked. Sonic stopped to consider what exactly they should do. "Lets leave Fiji, first of all." Kefka, now wide awake, suggested, "Lets go to France! They don't wear underpants!" He rhymed, jittering about like a six year old. Tails whispered to Sonic, "Don't ever let him have any coffee. Ever." Sonic nodded and watched the mad clown man dance about as though he had a fire in his undershorts. They kept walking until a cell phone started playing "SONIC CD METALLIC MADNESS PAST" Tails unvieled the phone and started conversing with some guy named Site. Sonic guessed that Site was the one dumb enough to put a cell phone into Tails' hands. After about twenty minutes,Tails put the phone away, and turned to the two of them, grabbing Kefka by the (poofy) collar to keep him from skipping about.

"That was a friend of mine. He says to wait at the airport for him."

----------------------

To be continued...

There, its not in bold. Happy now? If not, too bad. I'm not going to reformat all the chapters, but I will do the rest of the fic in this format. Because it seems to hurt your sensitive eyes. Disengage, Chapter Fourteen.

Chapter Fourteen: Aww... Poopy! (Disengages)


	15. Chapter 15

Okay, back to some plot advancin' sweet meats!

---------------------------

Session 15- Cream, What the heck!

---------------------------------

They made it to the airport with little difficulty. Kefka had used up most of his coffee energy, and was now doing a different sort of dance. The pee dance. As soon as they entered the airport, he ran like the madman he is to the restroom. Then he was thrown out of the men's bathroom, and they yelled at him, thinking that he was a girl. So, he ran into the girls' bathroom, and screamed on and on about it not having any urinals. He came out a few seconds later, looking relieved. Tails looked at him questioningly. He had already found Site, who had his hand over his face in embarrasment to even _know_ Kefka. (Long story.) "Have fun?" He asked. Kefka forced a smile. "Loads." Sonic was at a coffee machine, getting more caffeine. Kefka ran over to Sonic's side, and immediately started bugging him.

"Just one cup! PLEASE! I NEEDS MY FIX!"

---------------------------------

Fo-Lou burst back through the entrance, no longer under intoxicating effects of certain substances. The vampires walking around the streets of the hive complex all glared at him. They could sense his evil deeds. Finally, one lunged at him. He glared at it, and it stopped in mid-air. He raised a hand to the vampire's face, and formed a swordy. The vampire immediately split in two. He continue onward, effortlessly slaying the weak beasts that dared face him. He walked back through the door to "Bomberman's" quarters. He now knew that the fiend who resided here was not his old college buddy, but the KEY's current caretaker, if only for a few days. He noticed a note on the table. He read it out loud.

"...Ovaltine?"

---------------------------------

Tails stared at Kefka. "He's... like a kid. A big, makeup wearing, maniacal kid." Site laughed. "So, Tails, I bet you're wondering why I'm here."

"No, not really."

"Really? Not even a smidge?"

"Nope."

"Well, I'm here to congratulate you on a job well done."

"Whatever, Site. Where's Cream?"

"She is over by the snack machine. I gave her twenty bucks."

"But... the snacks are only one dollar each."

"I know." Site replied, a giddy grin on his face. Tails sighed. "I'll go drag her away from her sugar fix." Site followed him, taking out and readying a video camera. When they reached her, she was shaking violently, holding a Twix, sliding the last of the one dollar bills into the snack machine. She jittered while pushing the buttons on the machine rapidly, and pulled out a Snickers bar. Tails walked behind her and looked into the machine. Completely empty. Cream shoved the Twix into her mouth and viciously munched it into oblivion. She unwrapped the Snickers and in a matter of seconds, it was gone too. Tails placed his head directly behind hers, and half-yelled, "Having Fun!" Cream screamed out in response, and latched herself onto the snack machine. She turned her head. Tails smiled. She screamed again, and scooted to the top of the snack machine. She peeked over the top of the snack machine. "Tails! Don't do that!" He flew to the top of the machine, and sat down next to her. "Do what?" Tails asked innocently, smiling at Cream again. She handed him a toothbrush. He looked at her as if to say, 'Why do you have a toothbrush in your pocket?' She handed him some toothpaste. Site produced a mirror, muttered something to Tails in a wierd language, and showed him the mirror. Tails' eyes widened. He could see his reflection. He smiled, saw the mess on his fangs, and his eyes widened further. He took the toothbrush and toothpaste into the bathroom. A few seconds later, people came running out of the bathroom yelling about a freakaloid being in the bathroom. Tails walked out a few minutes later. He took the mirror, smiled at it again, and handed the mirror back to Site. Site turned to face both of them. "Well, as soon as the blue one and the clown arrive, we can return to our homes." Cream walked over to a nearby chair and had a seat. Tails sat next to her. Then, after a few minutes he got up and signaled to Site for a "Sidebar" conversation.

"What if I hadn't been able to defeat Amy?"

"Erm... thats not important now."

"Yeah, it is."

Site sighed. "I don't know... its never happened before."

---------------------------------

Sonic shoved Kefka from the coffee machine, placed his last five dollar bill into the machine, got a coffee, and took a sip of it as fast as he could. Kefka stared at him, a look of shock on his face. "You... Evil... Person..." Sonic was about to reply, when he was cut off by Tails. "Hey, hurry up! We can't wait all night, you know!" Sonic grabbed Kefka, and they were on the plane in less than an hour.

---------------------------------

Six hours later...

---------------------------------

It was a small plane, but it was a _private _small plane. It couldn't fly anywhere near as fast as the one Tails had told Cream about. She looked around from her seat. Tails and Site were both asleep. Tails had his head on Cream's shoulder. Cream had just learned something. Tails doesn't breathe when he sleeps. He was drooling slightly, but she didn't seem to notice. She let her eyes fall on Kefka, who was having a coffee withdrawal. The windows were closed so that the sun outside wouldn't burn Tails or Site, but even in absolute darkness it was obvious that Kefka was in a fetal position, rocking back and forth. Cream hadn't had any sleep since two nights ago. So, naturally, if she wasn't sick at her stomach from eating twenty dollars in sweets, she would've been asleep too. Tails placed his arm lazily around her neck. She glanced over at him. Still asleep. She felt nausceous. She tried to get up, but Tails tightened his grip and mumbled something about staying for pastrami. She sat back down. She was dizzy. The room began to spin. Cream passed out.

She woke up feeling much better. It was still dark, but the windows were open. Tails was awake, playing his Game Buddy Advance Colored Tiny Pocket, or whatever it was called. He was playing DOOM 2. She watched that for a while, until it creeped her out. So, really, it was more like twenty seconds. She looked over, and Site was playing keep-away with Kefka, a cup of coffee as the prize. He seemed to be enjoying himself. Site, that is. Kefka was dancing mad. Like his theme song's name! Eventually Sonic took the cup of coffee from Site, and consumed the entire cup in a matter of seconds. Kefka broke down into a crying fit. Sonic rolled his eyes and walked off, Site following suit. She heard a low, growling noise, and turned back to Tails. He was... "having words", lets call it, with his GBACTP for having such good A.I. He eventually put the "Infernal device" away, and turned looked in her direction, finally noticing her. They had some minor conversation--the weather, and such. I won't bore you with that.

---------------------------------

Shadow looked around what was left of his former office. There was a person laying unconcious on the floor, grasping a glass of what Shadow _really_ hoped was just wine. He walked over to his desk, and opened the drawer. Yep, her lock of hair was still there. She wasn't so far gone that he couldn't bring her back. He grasped the hair in one hand, and made an odd motion with his other hand. He set the hair on the ground, produced an enormous pitcher of water from his desk, and began pouring the water on the hairs. They absorbed the water quickly. The hairs began to glow a sort of vibrant grey, then pink. Then they turned to a pink puddle of goop. Amy's form slowly... formed... itself from the goop. She was unconcious. Shadow got an idea. 'This should teach her not to run off.' He though, as he picked up the unconcious man, and layed him awkwardly next to her. He snickered at his practical joke/revenge scheme, and left his office, to check on some... stuff.

---------------------------------

To be continued...

DOOM. DOOM 2. The Ultimate DOOM. DOOM 3. And now, DOOM: The Movie. Next thing you know, we'll have DOOM: THE MOVIE: THE GAME. then DOOM: THE MOVIE: THE GAME: THE SNACK BAR. Then--oh, you get the idea. DOOM good, DOOM shelling itself out to the rest of the media world (and a snack bar) bad.

Questions to be answered next time? Okay!

-What is the mysterious "Stuff" mentioned in Shadow's part?

-What will Tails do when he finds out Kefka is from French Canada, eh?

-Will big get off his fat but and put Sonic's arm back on?

-Will I _ever _get to the TailCream-ness?

Do you think I have a certain Scientologist sociopathic celebrity bound and gagged in my basement? I don't. Let me go check and make sure...

Nope. I just have Whoopi down there, and she _lives _there. With Moosey. Moosey's my moose. YAY MOOSE!


	16. Chapter 16

Okay, here we go. Here we go? HERE-A WE GOOOOOOOOO! Sorry. Too much Mario 64 does that to me. Lets do this.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Remedial Amulet of Doom and Candies. Plus, Amy vs. Kefka: the Ultimate Crazy Fight!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tails stretched. That was the most uncomfortable plane he had ridden in since... ever. And so, the long walk from place to place began. They stopped, halfway to Big's residence. Sonic's eyes widened. In the middle of the road... A certain pink hedgehog stood.

"Hello, guys. And Cream."

Tails started sweating. He had thrown her into a gutter, that led to a sewer, and that led to an ocean. there was no way that she could have gotten all the way back here before the sun hit her. Could she? He didn't have time to contemplate. He turned to Site. "Get Cream out of here!"

"Why?"

Tails pointed to Amy and made a low-pitch "durrrr" noise. Site grabbed Cream, and leaped into some nearby foliage. Kefka, Sonic, and Tails all assumed defensive stances, Kefka making Bruce Lee style karate yells. Amy ran for them. Sonic rolled into a dash ball thing. Tails picked up the dash ball, and hurled it at Amy, while Kefka made a baseball fanfare noise. Amy caught Sonic, and kicked him back into Tails. Kefka put on a headset, and said, "Oh! And he is outta there!" Amy lunged for Kefka, but Kefka cast Ultima on her. She flew back, into the side of a building. The building fell on top of her. Kefka let out a triumphant "Uwee!". But, unfortunately for Kefka, Amy wasn't dead. Close, but not quite. He began rapidly reciting a number of spells, all connecting. She wouldn't stop. He had slowed her to a walk. She was close enough to attack, so he leaped backwards, onto a nearby tree branch. He blew a raspberry. She jumped for him again. He ducked, and gravity became Amy's mortal foe as she plummeted. She got up and glared at him. Kefka threw his sock at her, and knocked her down again. He snickered at the sight before him. Amy jumped into a darker area. Kefka couldn't see her anywhere. He stopped screwing around, and got into a defensive stance. Rustling, then nothing. Crap. It was fun for Kefka when he could see his opponent. Some more rustling, then two flashes of red. Kefka maintained his defensive stance and glanced around some. Nothing... nothing... Kefka's attention was captured when he heard rustling from above him. He looked up into the tree's branches. Not a thing. And then--

-------------------------------

Site stopped running, set Cream down, and turned. Kefka was screaming out in the distance. Site sighed. He turned to Cream "Go home. Got it?" Cream nodded, and ran off. Site ran in the other direction. What had the effiminate clown gotten into this time? Surely, he would not be bested by an opponent such as Amy.

Would he?

-------------------------------

Fo-Lou tok the card from his pocket, and closed his eyes. He could sense the key. She was not far off. He headed for the door. But, a certain blue-haired boy was waiting for him just outside the complex, along with a cat man, and a winged girl. Fo-Lou sighed. "Ryu, canst this not wait?" The blue haired boy replied by drawing a katana. Fo-Lou sighed again, and formed a swordy. "Obviously not. Very well, then."

-------------------------------

Shadow looked around the hall to make sure nobody was coming before he punched in a code on a secret door hidden in a wall. He had sent Amy to deal with everybody, so he didn't worry about her walking in on him. He entered and surveyed his surroundings. Then he realised that he hadn't turned on the lights yet. He fumbled for the switch for a few minutes. When the lights finally droned to life, Shadow approached the figure that he had so cleverly named the place after. "B.A.S.S." Shadow said out loud, to nobody in particular. A reply came.

"What?"

"Heh. Nothing. Go back to standby."

"No. Its way too boring in here. I think I'll let myself out." The black armor-clad robot said as it stepped past Shadow. Shadow sighed, before he turned and pushed a button on the android's back. It immediately hummed down to an idle position. Shadow started to try and lift the robot. The robot snapped back to life, and kicked him in the stomach. Shadow stopped himself a few inches from the wall. The robot let out an evil chuckle, and aimed it's gun arm at him. It called him an idiot, and went into an incredibly long rant that was worthy of Shadow. Then he put an orb of plasma in Shadow's forehead.

-------------------------------

To be continued...

THE INCREDIBLY SHORT CHAPTER OF DOOOOOM! And Moosey. Okay, then. That's Sephiroth, and now Shadow... Any other video game characters that have stupid huge fanbases that I can kill off? Anybody? At all? Hmm?


	17. Chapter 17

I believe that... Shadow... is... DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. Well, now that I've promptly invoked the wrath of the Shadow fangirls, time to get on with the chapterSHADOWSDEADDEADDEADDEADANDHEWONTEVERCOMEBACKDEAD!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

There goes the... Wait... Who the heck are you?

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The android walked down the desolate corridors. Most of his memory banks had been wiped. He tried to recall his name. It... was something... he remembered that he hated it when people mispronounced his name, and called him a... some form of freshwater fish... It started with a "B"... B... Ba... Baa... Bass! That was his name, Bass! He remembered an old guy in a lab coat, telling him... some sort of plan... a schematic... he couldn't recall the rest... then, he woke up in that lab... the odd furball thing greeted him, and told him all sorts of lies. He didn't have a way to prove that they were, but deep down, he always knew. He also remembered that he... he was supposed to do something for the man in the lab coat... Eliminate... some blue person... the person... had a red brother... and an arm that could change into a cannon, much like his own. He could't remember the rest. He eventually came to a big door labeled "EXIT". He opened the door and peered cautiously outside. Who knew what dangers awaited him, even as he thought. Bass looked around, and saw something peculiar. A clown man being severely beaten by a pink furball creature. Nearby, there was an orange-yellow furry thing with two extensions to it's design attached to the small of it's back. It appeared idle. Then, a spiky blue creature, also idle, with a severed mechanical arm laying next to him. Wait a second, blue? Was this the person that he was supposed to eliminate? No. The person he was supposed to eliminate was slightly taller, and much, much more humanoid. He pondered what to do. Should he just ignore the whole thing? Well...

Well, he should probably go help them.

-------------------------------------------------------

Fo-Lou fought long and hard for all of five seconds, and emerged victorious from the battle. He did that wierd, non-chalant, walking away victory pose. Then he gazed at the stars and went into an extremely long, extremely BORING monologue about the events of _Breath of Fire IV_ (The game that they're all from) before trailing into a pointless spasm of ilk about everything from Atkins sucking the life from weasels, to the day he became a man, to his hatred of baklavah, to his time in prison for stealing a magic talking chicken of solid leather eggs. I won't bore you with his "Speecheth".

Moving on...

-------------------------------------------------------

Site dashed to the battlefield... battleroad, whatever, with all his speed. When he arrived only moments later he saw quite a sight to behold. Kefka was running from Amy, who was being chased by some looney with an arm-gun-thing. All three of them were yelling things, but the only thing he could make out for the duration of it was Kefka screaming, "IF THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE SOCK I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY!" Eventually, Kefka tripped on a rock, Amy tripped over Kefka, and the gun-arm-looney jumped over the both of them and yelled for Amy to cease and desist. She jumped at the loon, and latched on to him. He pried her away without much difficulty, and yelled at her to "Protect the environment! Don't waste oil!" and kicked her away with threats of calling the Greenpeace people. The situation _seemed _to be under control, so Site decided to go and locate Cream. If he hurried, maybe she would let him watch _Perfect Hair Forever _with her. Which tells us much about Site's ability to arrange his priorities. He dashed away, since everybody was either unconcious, being severely beaten with a gun-arm, or doing the gun-arm beating.

-------------------------------------------------------

Link stared through the glass of the containment chamber he was in. Perhaps... perhaps, if he were to use the Song of Passing, and then angle the sunlight with his mirror shield so that it hit the glass walls, he could, in theory, melt the glass away. Unfortunately, he would need help. The villain who had himself and the others locked up had switched all of their stuff around. He didn't know who had what. After a moment or two of dead silence, he held up the strange spear on a rope he had recieved, and asked the spectre, Scorpion, "Hey, is this yours?" The spectre turned, his soulless eyes widening. "You are the one who has received the Bloody Spear?" Link nodded to Scorpion. "Yeah. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a small, blue Ocarina, would you?" Scorpion searched his person, but before he could reply, a young-sounding voice, with a slight rasp to it, said, "I have one!" Link turned to the direction the voice came from. A small boy, Raz, with disturbingly mishapen calve muscles and head, held the ocarina. Link nodded, "Thats the one. Is... uh... what the heck is this?" Link asked, holding up a piece of bacon. Yes, bacon. Raz simply replied with, "Oh, thats some bacon for this guy that comes out of my ear sometimes." Link took a step away from the boy. "Oookaaay... well, I need you to play a certain song on that ocarina." Link showed the notes to the big headed child, and, after a few tries, Raz got the melody right. Time passed rapidly for Raz, but, unfortunately, not for the rest of them. So, after about eight hours, Raz asked, "What now?" Link forced a smile, "Well, now we need to find out who has my Mirror Shield."

"I have a wierd shield that has a mirror in it!" Link looked over to the source of the reply, and saw the scientist guy, Gordon. He held the shield up. "Good. Gordon, I want you to focus the Mirror Shield so that a beam of light is reflected onto the glass, which, in theory--"

"Will cause the glass to burn and melt away, right?"

"Bingo."

And so, after what seemed like an eternity, Gordon was free. Link nodded in approval. "Now, do the rest of the cells." Gordon gave him a questioning look, then replied with, "Or, I could just push the 'door open' buttons on the cells." Link was about to protest with his reasoning, when he realised that his only reasoning was that melting the rest of the glass cells would be cooler, and that was it. So, he shut up, and let Gordon open the cells. And they all made a hasty retreat, like any intelligent being (Plus Nemesis) would. They got everybody's equipment sorted out, and managed to get pretty deep into the forest before they had to settle down and camp, which was where Raz got the idea to sing camp songs. More on that after the "To be continued...", which, conveniently enough, happens right... about... NOW!

-------------------------------------------------------

To be continued...

Another short chapter. Okay, here are the songs, JUST the titles, though, the songs all suck.

Link-Legend of Zelda: Field theme (with lyrics)

Raz-The Bacon Song (I like bacon, I like bacon! I like, I like, I like bacon!)

Nemesis-The STARS song (STARS STARS STARS STARS STARS!)

Gordon Freeman-"I will prevail!"

Scorpion-The "GET OVER HERE!" song.

Bowser- He didn't sing. He still lacks a mouth.


	18. Chapter 18

The voices in my head say I should write what they command me to. I obey, mighty voices. Here are thine whims...

---------------------------------

Tails sat under a nearby tree. He gazed over to the pile of ashes just outside of the shade of the tree, recalling the events.

--------

F-L-A-S-H-B-A-C-K!

--------------------------------

Tails remembered waking up, and it still being dark. Amy was on the ground, presumably unconcious. Tails took a look around, trying to see where the person who helped them was, seeing as how it obviously wasn't Kefka or Sonic, who were both unconcious. His eyes eventually met with a black-armored person with a gun-arm, not too far away. Neither Site nor Cream were around. Tails sighed, and tried to move around a bit. His arm stung. He looked down, and saw that his arm was bent in a way that it definitely shouldn't have been. He cleared his throat, and called out to the black-armored stranger. The stranger turned, and spoke.

"Who are you?"

"Who... are... you?"

"Yes, thats what I said. Who are you?"

"Tails... You?"

"I am Bass."

"Bass... that sounds... familiar."

"Odd. I don't believe I've met you before... I sort of stay away from deranged cosplayers..."

"Cosplayer? What?"

"You are dressed exactly like that weird little fox creature from those crappy Genesis games... What where they called..."

"Dressed... as me? I'm... not sure I follow."

"Oh come on, stop being a nerd!"

"Nerd? Me? Now, what gave you that impression?"

Bass rolled his eyes, and grabbed Tails' head. After unsuccessfully trying to pull off his 'mask', Bass stepped back. Then he looked around at his colorful, "child-safe" surroundings.

A few temper tantrums later...

Tails sighed, and rubbed his head. "You know, you didn't have to shoot _me_." He grumbled, glaring at Bass, who was happily scarfing down a bowl of ice-cream (Don't ask. He likes ice-cream.). "I know. I just don't care." He replied, happy to have his comfort object. (Which is a food). "Besides, you're obviously a Shade model."

"A do-what-now?"

"A Shade model. Your inferior tech knows nothing of it, I suppose. Ever heard of... uh... Mega... Somethin'... I'm having trouble remembering..."

"Megaman?"

Bass dropped his ice-cream, cocked his Bass cannon, and started looking around rampantly.

"MEGAMAN? WHERE! I SHALL GRIND HIM INTO SOUP!"

"BASS! SHUT UP! HE ISN'T HERE!"

Awkward silence...

"Oh." Bass replied, putting away his Bass cannon, and sitting down, blushing slightly. Tails decided to lighten the tension with some more minor conversation. Bass eventually got bored, and got up. "I'm gonna leave now. Gonna try an' find a way back to the Megaman universe. See ya."

"Okay. Oh, and Bass?"

Bass turned to face the grinning kitsune. "Yeah?"

"Soup?"

"... Shut up..."

"Alright. But seriously, what is a Shade model?"

"Ever heard of Shade _Man_?"

"Oh. Yeah, okay. Now I get it."

"Right... Bye then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Bass, leave."

"K."

Then Bass left.

---------------------------------

END F-L-A-S-H-B-A-C-K!

-----------------------------------

Tails glanced over to his left, where Sonic and Kefka sat, playing a round of poker. Kefka had somehow magically obtained a cigar, and Sonic was wearing a visor that said "Hang in there Kitty!" With a picture of the infamous cat under the lettering. They were arguing over whether or not Sonic's royal flush beat Kefka's pair. Of twos. Kefka still won. With a little help from Ultima. Sonic landed what looked like... twenty two and a haif feet away from where his cards remained on the ground... Tails sighed, and summed up everything that had happened, and prepared to try and fix any plotholes-I mean, gaps in what he knew. He informed Kefka and Sonic. Sonic walked over non-chalantly, and sat next to his friend.

Kefka _skipped_ over and sat down in front of Tails, before screaming, "YAY! STORYTIME!"

--------------------------------

S-U-M-M-A-R-Y!

---------------------------------

Sonic recieves an E-mail from "YAY4SONAMYsupahchix.bob" saying to come to a quote/unquote "swimmin' hole."

(Sonic interrupts)

"Yeah, and although I never gave Amy my e-mail adress, she probably never needed me to... little stalker that she was..." Sonic

(Continuing)

They find Amy in a sack. She is presumed dead.

(Sonic interrupts)

"Why was she in a sack?" Sonic

"Probably as part of some FIENDISH PLOT." Kefka

"How do you know?" Sonic

"Villains instincts." Kefka

"A-HEM! Continuing..." Tails

(What he said!)

At Amy's funeral, there is much cheesey dialogue, yes? Tails is bitten, passes out.

Wakes up. After some tinker-finkin' around the house, discovers that he is, indeed, a vampire.

Shadow hires Sephiroth to kill Tails for some reason.

"Probably 'cuz I wouldn't go to that stupid school of his..." Tails

Sephiroth kills Sonic.

Tails kills Sephiroth. Cream sees, and Tails has to catch her and explain. He does.

Tails takes Sonic to Knuckles; They use the Master Emerald to bring Sonic back. Site takes Cream as collateral, tells Tails to kill Amy.

SquareEnix rips off thier own movie by saying that if they wanted, they could make another Sephiroth. Shadow declines, hires Kefka.

Kefka wants some help.

Now Shadow gets a Safer Sephiroth for Kefka to team up with. "Team Hair" is formed.

Kefka meets Tails, they become friends due to Kefka's extreme need for fans.

They lock Safer in a broom closet, hogtied. But with wings instead of arms and legs.

Shadow tries to stop Kefka and Tails.

Kefka whups him something fierce. Go Kefka.

Tails just misses getting at Amy.

-OFF TO FIJI!-

Amy scares Sonic a little bit. (Oh, just a little. Right, he only pee'd his nonexistant pants, is all!)

Sonic unpacks Amy's things, finds a mega-buttload of cash.

Kefka is fascinated by the Awesomity of the hotel.

Tails shoots Amy with silver bullets.

She lives, and K.O's Tails, and persuades Kefka to leave. Through the window. On the fifth floor.

Itchy banana sweater!

(Sonic interrupts)

"And it was itchy... And smelled like bananas..." Sonic

(Continuing)

Amy bites Sonic to get back at Tails, but he's okay. Just unconcious.

Tails keel him some Amy. Shoves her in a gutter. Yes, a gutter. There was a lot of bleeding, and bone snappings.

Tails then kills a bird, and rips it's head off before feeding on it.

Kefka gets back up to the fifth floor, and Sonic wakes up when the now-sleeping Tails scares the be-jeezus out of Kefka.

They meet with Site and Cream.

-WE BACK HOME NOW!-

They kill Amy with help from Bass.

And thats all that they could piece together.

--------------------------

End S-U-M-M-A-R-Y

------------------------------

To be continued...

Well, I am filled with glee and CHOCOLATE! I shall make a bomb. Out of glee and chocolate.

IT SHALL BE THE GLEE-CHOCO-BOMB! Anyways, I'm getting lazy. (And fat) So I'll just end this with an Epilogue. Of doom. And cliffhangers--Oh, wait... Crap. YOU DIDN'T READ THAT!


	19. The End For now

The Epilogue.

Sonic and Tails sit at home, a few weeks after the death of Amy. Tails has a suitcase fully packed, and is wearing his black-leather jacket. He seems to have grown, not only physically, but mentally as well. Sonic haas kicked his coffee habit. He stops Tails at the front door.

"You sure you want to leave? I mean, if you don't want to..."

"Relax, Sonic, I'll be back. When I learn how to control my abilities better... I've gotten a bit short-tempered as-of late. My eyes turned red just yesterday when we were out of ham."

"Alright. You be sure to write, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Well, I'll see you around."

And he was gone.

The End.


End file.
